Past posts have been my perception of the success and failure of my time concerning the reality of living well with mental health and physical limitations. Last week offered an additional 15 hours of Home Health Aide work. Difficult decision to make taking the extra hours, due to the responsibilities I have at my own home, health, and family. When balanced against the exhaustion from anxiety/depression, sleep apnea, and other health concerns was unsure how that was going to go home wise.  

By Wednesday, I was ready to throw in the towel and blog my perception of failure. Before starting this experiment of blogging/public journaling, that would be my thought process still is a little. That small amount of doubt never seems to leave me for long; this week’s reasoning behind thoughts of failure. Some of the home organization projects that I had been slowly integrating into my life has stopped. The timing of the everyday items that I had been working on had shifted, and the amount of effort put into them changed drastically. Again this is less than half of what I used to be able to accomplish in years past. As the days progressed, I could sense my building emotional cloud of failure, and why do I even bother trying. Another voice I kept hearing, “I am such a failure that I cannot accomplish ‘basics.’ I am a worthless mother, wife, and employee.” Then the thought struck me during my paten pending internal thought bubble. That is the me that I am always trying to shed. Given the ‘joys’ of mental health will be revisited, often.

With contemplation and review by Friday, I have decided that this week’s additional work hours were a successful integration of my health and home life. How I decided they were a success, not a failure as earlier thought was many. Physically I had to remember due to work hours; I could no longer take my insomnia medication. That means as the week progressed, my body was unable to get a proper amount of sleep outside three to four hours. The hours also impacted eating breakfast due to medication restrictions and took some time to adjust the medication, food intake, and leaving for work. Another component that any energy I would have just after work for the physical house tasks was limited in completion. The limitation was positive and negative; my teenage daughter has been falling behind in her classwork due to her depression. She finally had a positive week and was working on assignments and required testing. To positively reinforce her progress, I rewarded her with her favorite take out for lunch most of the week. Yes, I just spent the financial increase on take-out and reinforced comfort/reward eating. Can I call it a win that I supported my local business? (shrugs shoulder) So instead of cleaning, I was ordering food and running errands. In contemplation, this week is a success for me.

Success comes in many shapes and sizes from the perception of this struggling to live well individual—silly and real overview of reasons again. I was able to increase my contribution to my home financially. I can make donations to the local food bank, church, and WCRF radio station. Maintained the basics dishes and laundry; may not be on the schedule I would prefer, but they got done. Cleaning may not be the deep clean I prefer, but the basic got done. Able to add the filling and taking all of my medications and vitamins this week. My daughter had a great week. I still blogged and journaled during the week. So I will take this as a win for surviving mental and physical health limitations.  

Live life to the fullest that you are emotionally and physically able to do. Came across this video compilation of our society and culture, the speaking was from a TED talk of Live Life to the Fullest by Steve Maraboli. Video in the background comes from a TED conference video made by Louie Schwartzberg. Collection created by YouTuber danoshow merged the speech, pictures, and music. Initially, I was not going to post this because I kept thinking that I could not live as he was describing. I was picturing my dream of acres of land and living off it. On the edge of the area, a bookstore/craft shop on the side of the property.

watch Video Compilation by danoshow

I may or may not reach that dream, but if I get up every morning to work toward that. That is a win because I am not letting my mental and physical health situation confine my living or dreaming—personal meaning of the compilation, the diversity of our society and culture around us as individuals. I have mentioned before living life to the fullest can even be getting up in the morning and eating breakfast. Not binge eating taking a walk instead, reading a book or scripture instead of sleeping the day away, having a fruit smoothie in the morning instead of ice cream, going into work instead of calling off or walking even if there are limitations such as holding onto a cane. Get up and strive to journey with your flaws, not let them hold you back. May mean redefining goals or even keep striving for them; you are the designer of your journey. Even when that journey is getting to the park bench with the perfect view that day, tomorrow is another day. Another day on the trip may see more done or just sitting on the park bench half-way to the original destination; an effort was made that is all that matters. Create your trip-tik (AAA), mapquest, or travel plan that works for you, health, and responsibilities.

Here are the videos first one is the compilation. Two and three are the original postings. All are motivating in their way.  

1.  Danoshow – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRy6ZdOOws4
2.  Moving Art – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2ofrX7jAk 
3.  Steve Maraboli – https://vimeo.com/107839708 Could not locate the TedTalk but did find it on Vimeo of a Q & A.

May next week be a success in whatever shape or form.

Below is my copy and past attempt at uplifting ideas and humour, sadly for some working on my humor is not on my evolving project lists (Sorry). Minion picture and motivation quote – 

FYI – still not in a good spot anxiety wise for reading and responding to comments. But leaving the comments section open. Maybe I will jump off the anxiety cliff and begin reading them in the future. Please no one hold their breath because this is an aspect of life that is years old. I have to build myself up to just listen to voicemails or read email responses. So yeah no hope soon of me working on this path in my life journey.

References

AAA trip tik Definition, https://triptik.aaa.com/home/, With this complete road trip planner, you can also access AAA Travel Guides and Road Trips companion resources. Travel Guides provide in-depth destination information with links to articles, videos, travel tips, and more. Road Trips illustrated with maps and images nearly 500 worthwhile and scenic drives throughout North America, with a descriptive narrative for each leg and recommended things to see and do, including GEM attractions offering an excellent experience for members.

thedanoshow (YouTuber), Live Life to the Fullest, Dr. Steve Maraboli, Ted Talks, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRy6ZdOOws4

Moving Art, Gratitude, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2ofrX7jAk

Steve Maraboli, A Life Well Lived, https://vimeo.com/107839708

Minion Inspiration Quote,  https://i.pinimg.com/736x/b7/43/36/b74336c3d2c41eb0a38053a101b90264–minions–funny-minion.jpg