Saw this tree on my walk, and it reflected how it’s alone in a field just at the beginning of housing development, and behind a strip of stores, both just sitting there not moving, not offering anything productive just resonated with me. This weekend (6/1/2020) that with the protest turned riots and the overwhelming feeling of what’s the point and what have I contributed to help or hinder. I thought I helped by supporting my local church and missionaries in our inner-city area of Cleveland, OH. What’s the point, another example of our politicians and apathetic people not doing anything, which got me even worse feeling with my anxiety. Realized, I do not have enough personal knowledge and facts to make an informed opinion and action. I have included a video I watched a couple of days ago. I will say now it is a Christian pastor I am sorry if this offends but appreciated what he said. I have also included Tested by Adam Savage, who also gave a different perspective personally, it came off harsh. Both provide different views but similar in how this looks moving forward. Both helped me realize that due to my physical and mental health limitations, my task is to find where I can help in the small picture, not the large image.
What I came away with from both that we are responsible for our actions alone. For me, that puts me at peace with continuing to donate to food pantries, homeless shelters, and personal churches. For the prejudice is not forward any inflammatory social media posts when possible respond with researched facts and linking websites. Strive to greet all citizens of this world equally. When a conversation comes up, be honest that I do not have enough effects to make a decision.
Part of this current peace that turned into rioting partially about the fact that inequality of finances, health, insurance, work, bullying, foster care, school shootings, and the list goes on. Our media presents it when something traumatic happens, and we hear about it, and social media becomes agitated for a couple of weeks, but nothing ever entirely changes.
Selfishly some emotionally, this makes me exhausted from trying to figure out what I can do in the big picture. Realistically I cannot, so small changes will continue to be a battle plan. As mentioned earlier is donating where I can, treating others as equals. Verbally and social media respond in a virtuous manner. Limit my watching of news and research the actual problem. Another aspect is striving to examine the voting history and speeches of the people I vote for and participate when I can on local policy issues or changes. Sorry for the long and draining writing; it has been an issue listening to the diverse opinions of both positive and negative.
My anxiety and depression have gotten a workout from overthinking what I have contributed to the problem. Then I have to realize I am in an area of Ohio that is limited in interaction with the blatant racism currently publicized at least that I am aware.
Another aspect of thought that came to me as I struggled emotionally over this subject is It has only been 155 years since the Civil War and 55 years since Martin Luther King Jr killed. As a people, we do not like change. An example of this by the Jim Crow Museum (below is what I found about the museum). What is impressive to me is how recently this was in place if you look at the dates involved. It is fantastic that we live in a country that voted a black president so recently given the years seen in the movie. Even then, Obama characterized in the video. Something that struck me is what seen in this museum is a time frame that these people are or were recently alive bringing up children who could now be in our political arena, protection fields, and any other corporate structure. We have a long way to go, but progress is being made.
Nevermind, we have the Native Americans systematically being killed through a lack of services on Reservations. They were here before any of us. Here is an article Native American tribes’ pandemic response impacted by many inequities https://news.yahoo.com/native-american-tribes-pandemic-response-124729299.html. So much pain in this world inequality comes in many forms, as mentioned previously in all aspects of our society. Even those struggling with mental health have limited resources to help us due to personal finances and lack of insurance.
As an individual, what is the position of accountability when our social media tells us that we are right or wrong? As an individual, what is my place with the inequalities of life? Unsure how others feel, but I will continue to grow as an individual with a variety of health issues and a desire to support my fellow man within my limited sphere of influence. I cannot fix the world and its issues. There always be inequality all I can contribute is not to add to the pain and support those I come in contact with that are in pain.
I have really been struggling this week and end of last so I had to get my thoughts out on paper. If it helps wonderful, if not I am sorry.
WARNING: This video of the Jim Crow Museum has some very violent pictures and scary images showing what was in place early 1900 to now. I am sorry if this offends people but felt it is important to show there is a long battle ahead to counteract many years of racism.