Another hot week here in Ohio, which again impacted the downsizing physical aspect, has been my concentration for the last two to three months, which pushed at my anxiety and depression toward feelings of failure and the thoughts of why I should bother. I am never going to succeed; I have not in the past, which proves it. Thinking back over this week, I expected to return my comfortable depression pit. That pit of why bother, I am worthless, I will never succeed, and all those endless recurring thoughts of failure.
Honestly expected, the old me was going to win this week. In the past, this is always where I give up and shut everything down that I began in my upward swing of positive. With struggle, I honestly had plans to write my goodbye note to the website, Facebook, and store. A summary of I am a failure and not strong enough to continue my creative outlet because why bother. I am just a whiny woman that will never be anything, so why push that on others. Yeah, depression visited severely this week. With success as my morning to evening progressed, I was able to find that strength to keep moving forward by posting and creating daily about miscellaneous topics. Praise God. Over the week still felt that shadow of failure on all my other listed projects.
On Friday, though came across the Desperate for Jesus 2020 Women’s Conference for me, this was a fantastic reminder of the beauty and strength that blessed with even on the wrong hours, days, and weeks. I have worth even when I cannot see it. The individual at the conference that pushed that home was Katherine Wolf.
Katherine had a stroke at twenty-six, has two children, and is a blogger and Author. Here are her Hope Heals – Facebook and Hope Heals Website. What I took from this was we are all made as individuals our battles are our own. We seek comfort from who we are and plan to be. It is perfectly fine to have bad days or weeks; our physical and mental health will impact us. Striving to move on and forward to maintain and be who we meant to be. For me, this helped if a woman who needs to move in a wheelchair daily and looks at it as positive and sees the positive in daily life with physical restrictions, she also acknowledges she has bad days. With those bad days, she questions God’s plan but lovingly accepts that he healed her to what He needs her to do and blessed her with an idea and strength to live it. Having a bad day does not mean positive stops. It just shifts till a positive can be celebrated bad days are okay just striving not to wallow is impressive.
Sunday was watching Hope Church – July 26 Service 9 am, which not surprisingly in my life reinforced this message from the women’s conference of good days and bad days. How we live them is the celebration. The pastor also mentioned another woman of modern times in a wheelchair Joni Eareckson Tada – Joni and Friends Facebook. The message was a fantastic reminder that followed up on Friday evening and Saturday morning women’s conference, much needed for me at least.
So for my weekly review, I am so amazed that I can see a celebration. I did not know at the beginning of the week; I still feel slightly out of place with my depression and downsizing. With great amazement, my week was a success. I may not have accomplished my written goals due to heat and emotional turmoil, but I am not giving up. My progress for the week is next week is another week of working in my goals of downsizing and reevaluating my life for the better. To move forward with my creativity and making my family’s experience better. Self-care is okay every once in a while. Changing the goal line is okay when there are obstacles in the way.
Thank you all who follow. Still not at a position of reading comments. Thank you to anyone who leaves them. Anxiety and depression are a struggle, but with medicine, professional assistance, and self-care, we can succeed in living life as well as we can. Success is all in how we see it.
Follow up note from last week I physically energy-wise felt some improvement with the Athletic Greens routine. But still not going to post the website because I am unsure if my depression dip was from taking the Athletic Greens, a decrease of Vit-D, or just one of those weeks. So I will take a week off from taking Athletic Greens to see how my depression is. If my physical energy dips and my depression not changed by Wednesday will restart taking them. I enjoyed not falling asleep when I got home from work at noon for an hour. I do not know I did not take it today, and I currently have a headache and no energy, so making it till Wednesday may not happen. We shall see. I Will keep you updated, and I want to move forward with this information cautiously. Have a great day and week.