Happy Thanksgiving

FeaturedHappy Thanksgiving

Wanted to celebrate success in a company that took the 2020 COVID challenge to celebrate and adapted Holiday Tradition of the Macy’s Day Parade; with safety instead of totally cancelling. Congratulations, Macy’s and Verizon, all the employees and volunteers that participated and planned this event. Thank you.

Macy’s Parade – Thanksgiving Day Parade 2020 – Verizon

Macy’s Parade – Thanksgiving Day Parade 2020 – Macy’s Info Page

Retail Holiday Rant

FeaturedRetail Holiday Rant

Working retail during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving and Christmas always makes me question why I enjoy my job. One to two weeks before Thanksgiving, a portion of our customers increase in being mean and unforgiving of the slightest infraction. With masks, it is even worse because they feel more comfortable talking under their breath. Why do shoppers think that employees have no feelings?

My thoughts come in several components of why and how to counteract it mentally—unique ideas or perspective of why people are disrespectful and forgetful of goodwill toward all. One is people do not want to spend the money on the holidays. Two The family is making demands unachievable, or the individual is exhausted trying to provide. Three adverse holiday history but everyone around them is cheerful and happy and questions why they are not. Four keeping up with the neighbors or relatives and cannot compete or even have a desire to compete, but think they must keep the trend going. Five corporate entities have put holiday decorations and reminders out since September. Six all the personalities have to be appeased, but no one cares what and how they impacted. These are my perception of why, and there are probably many more.

Honestly, when a shopper is nasty to me, I strive to remember the above list. I do not know where they are emotional or physical. My feelings do get hurt; treated like I have no worth. I strive to remember some of that is my depression. The other is that being an hourly worker is considered menial and low value. Even though we did not work, people would have no way to buy food, products, etc. Another aspect I strive to consider I do not know where someone is the cell phone conversations people have prove that.

Given cell phone conversations, I hear when people are walking through the aisle, in line, put their items on the belt, and paying are numerous. Here are some, so YES, be aware your conversation is not private. Those around you do hear. Unsure about anyone else, but I would prefer not to listen to your private conversations. Why are you on the phone when it is about leaving your spouse, a child ran away and trying to find, money is tight, mother in law verbally attacked you and unsure how to handle it? Other conversations heard is you just needed space and left your spouse and staying with your affair, that the underwear not folded and needs put away, and many more. Nevermind the hourly employees that are supervisors that are still taking work calls off shift. Sometimes for questions that could have easily waited for the next day. The best one for me is when, as a worker, I am considered rude because I am not acknowledging you are in my line except to say hi and give the total of your purchases. You are in a private conversation; if I was at a party or networking event, it is inappropriate to approach; being on the phone is the same. An alternative is text questions and answers more private. You have also verified you tried to reach your family to find out if you needed to pick up milk or another blanket, or a present for a friend or family.

Opps did not realize I had so much pent up frustration over the phone conversations I hear and shoppers’ attitudes. No, we are not perfect workers. Yes, we have the workers that sit or stand around and talk instead of work. There are the workers that are slow as turtles. A worker is ignoring you; I have an explanation for, at least personally, I have poor hearing, and with masks, it is even harder now. For me, I periodically misunderstand someone or plain do not hear unless I catch a person’s lips moving before mask-wearing. Now, I have no reference point. But I do not need the attitude that you have to repeat yourself. Most workers are trying to get things right.

Another aspect is the screaming children that are not in an infant carrier. Please, if you are shopping with another adult, have that adult take the child outside or if the child is at an age to compromise and let them pick a toy or candy if they behave through the whole store. Please do not give them something if they have been screaming through the entire store. It is draining, whining, crying, and repetition wants candy or toy every minute at the register. One, it is distracting when trying to converse with other customers. Nevermind the headache; many of us have halfway through a shift.

Now with the mask-wearing mandates. Some of us are not allowed to speak to a customer due to company policy. Remember, some of us still have to wait on these people who chose not to wear a mask. Customers get huffy if we take time to wipe down the areas and slowed down. Other customers are huffy that we have not had a chance to wipe down because we have a line of six people to wait on. Nevermind, we sometimes run low on supplies. Surveys are continually saying they had to wait, so what do you want us to do. Wait on you with speed, and no cleaning or slowness, and surfaces sanitized. Due to the pandemic’s change in cleaning policies, we will be slower to adhere to CDC health guidelines.

Above are constants throughout the year; there tends to increase screaming and customer attitude during the holidays. Some are due to children’s schedules being thrown off by get-togethers and parents concentrating on prepping for a holiday and not spending as much time with them. Another alternative is trying to pay for the holidays and just asking people to be aware that we are human too and respect that we are providing care to you. Yes, we may not be police, fireman, doctors, and nurses, but housekeeping, call centers, clerks, waitress, and any other public encounter have a place in this world.

Sorry for the rant. Being in the Customer Service industry in many varieties, I just reached a breaking point since I had all of the above in an eight-hour shift that seemed constant. 

Side Note: from the supermarket industry or any that provide carts. Can everyone go back to putting the cart into each other instead of just rolling into and leaving them loose in the corral? Lifting them when they have fallen to the side is frustrating and hurts. Since today is a mentally gloomy day, why do some people feel safe to put a child and elementary, sometimes the middle-school-age child, in the cart’s large area? If they do not fit in the front room, they are supposed to walk with you? 

Have to say sorry, but this is heartfelt, so it is draining treated like we are expendable, which I guess job-wise is everyone right now, just from the eyes of a Service Associate that is already tired and has a month and one week left of the holidays. Which will then move into four to five months of decreased hours and still cranky customers; we will not have enough staff to provide speedy service due to budget cuts till sales increase. Another factor of the grumpy customers is that the bills from the holidays come in, and have to balance buying groceries or paying the credit card.  Another reminder of Loving All even when we do not see eye to eye; like the customers who give puns every time they talk, you hate puns but have to smile like they are lovely.  

Thank you to those who thank us and acknowledge that we are trying as best we can.  

John Paul White ft. Rosanne Cash – We’re All In This Together Now (Official Video)

Found uploaded on April 24, 2020, but it is a reminder that we are still at a difficult point. We do not have an end date yet for the outbreak. As a world, we need to keep caring for all of us. People are stressed, depressed, starving and out of work, and that number will continue to increase. Those working do not know if they will get sick or have a job the next week. Everyone is under stress, not just you; let’s try to remember that when we are out and about this holiday season.  Maybe it is time to stop trying to Keep up with the Jones, instead strive to love our families be they blood or not as they are not how we want them to fit our wish.

Thank you for reading. Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, Happy Hanakana, and all unknown holidays.

From https://www.askideas.com

Just a perspective of the public and investigative media on supermarkets: My only concern for these spots mentioned is again time and staff hours are given to the store is limited. These limits do not always provide time to take care of all of these aspects mentioned. The tap pay mentioned, not all companies have that possibility. I liked how they said it is the customer’s responsibility for self-care, not just the company.

CBC News – The dirty truth about supermarkets (Marketplace)

Here is some information and acknowledgement that nurses are struggling.

NBC News – Pennsylvania Nurses Go On Strike as Covid Cases Surge – 11/18/2020

Thank you to all the industries that deal with the same or similair issues but I do not feel right speaking for a bus driver, landscaper, or anyother service industry that I do not have a direct reference to. Keep up the great work the world could not run without us. Would love to return to a time that all forms of employement where considered valuable instead of just the college degreed.

Thank you for those who read. Again a reminder my anxiety and depression I am not a position at this time to read and respond to comments.

Why Didn’t I Think of That?

FeaturedWhy Didn’t I Think of That?

Several days ago, Channel 5 in my home area ran a fun article. Got such a chuckle, which then moved to why didn’t I think of that? Surprise, there is not a franchise chain of these, takes recycling to a whole new level. Recycling could use or sell the products they cannot recycle to these places.

Enjoyed a new idea? Maybe some of these all over the world is one now in the Mogadore, OH area. 

You bought it; you break it at Rage Room Ohio – News 5 Cleveland

Of course, this got my mental health side thinking. What if this would be a partial therapy option for those who have difficulty controlling their rage or had an outlet to vent before it got too much for them to control in most situations? Just a thought to think about to all those highly educated professionals to research? Could this be something that would allow an individual that is prone to rage work through it easier? Have them use a room like this than after or during a session. Have a professional talk with the individual about what they imagine during smashing/venting. Help them work through what the triggers are and optional thoughts to consider, so not get to that rage point faster.

Have a great day, everyone. I hope everyone is well during this time of change for everyone.  

Now I am off to collect all my breakable I don’t want in the garage to use later for my rage. LOL. Since the police in my neighborhood would probably be called. I guess I will stay police visit free and just set up an appointment in Mogadore.

Pondering Defunding the Police again…

FeaturedPondering Defunding the Police again…

Media got me thinking about the topic of defunding the police that had been the battle cry back at the beginning of June. The media has not been covering it a lot. Unsure if the groups that began the call are still pushing for it. Another there might be a topic the Cleveland, OH area is not currently covering. (I realize the COVID numbers have increased.)

Two write-ups that gave for me a satisfying balance to the sunject. The Washington Post is an opinion piece from Editorial Board on July 16 and the Washington Examiner by Kaylee McGhee, Commentary Writer on July 10.  

‘Defund the police’ is as much about re-imagining public safety as it is about money

This opinion piece seems to present the re-imagined departments and that each state would look different. I guess my concern with all this is we have City Councils throughout our country and probably the world that cannot agree on road repair and government building staffing. How are they going to re-imagine a world that has always had police and a need for them? How are they going to re-imagine also a department that is already short-staffed and not solving the crime?  

It is mention that school disputes get a well-trained counselor instead of a police officer. I do not know about anyone else, but our school has slowly removed counselors due to money. Personally, in the case of our family, my daughter was bullied, and having counselors and teachers monitoring made it worse. Remember, in a parent-teacher/counselor conference, was told my daughter’s bullying would not happen as much if she was not as emotional. This thinking from the professionals they want to replace our police? 

What if we gave police officers better hours, more counseling support, and more vacation days. Maybe sabbaticals like teachers get so they can de-stress.  The counseling industry would require a change in training if you want them to replace the police. Are we going to teach them disarming techniques when they cannot talk down a drug addict who has mental health? Are we going to address why this addict may have chosen drugs, indeed? Their situation could be they began treating mental health with alcohol and then street drugs instead of pharmaceuticals due to not knowing? Now they cannot afford the medicines or doctor’s appointments or family history of not accepting mental health? These are my thoughts on this one, let’s see what the other one has for ideas.

People don’t want to defund the police. Can you blame them? by Kaylee McGhee, Commentary Writer | | July 10, 2020, 03:21 PM

What I found fascinating is the articles in a broad stroke mirror each other. Did find an example of a citizen who found a homeless person on his front step call a community service person who is supposed to handle the homeless and got no answer but called the police, and it was processed quickly. That is one example of the over hall that a segment of our society is calling for needs to look at what is already in place and why it is not working. What if we looked at training police officers that due to injury can no longer be on the force, Train them as counselors make use of the training maybe change their uniform, so those going on soft calls do not look as threatening. Another aspect is how police are perceived. Do people even know who to call for what problems? Personally, our car and house egged many years ago my husband called the police. Where we supposed to call someone different, I do not know?

This writer also spoke about the consequences of Minneapolis neighborhood residents had agreed to not rely on law enforcement, and crime has increased, which on a human perspective that makes sense. On a simple example, you see that mom and dad leave the children at home, and they have friends over that destroy the house.  

What got me on this track again is a news clip from our local news station that got me thinking that I do not know if it is like this everywhere. The detective staffing levels are lower than they are supposed to be by federal standards. Even before all this current hoopla. If our police are understaffed, why?. What is life going to look like if the loudmouths get their way on instant defunding? We need to look at retraining, and supporting have clear cut policies in place for the police and the support units. No matter how that looks in the future, but it will not be instant.

Cleveland leaders to hold hearings on homicide detective staffing level concerns.

For me, I’m rather proud of myself that after a little bit of research and reading, my anxiety is minimal. Again I cannot change this except at the voting booth. Also, be aware of where and who to call when there is a problem. Which at the current plan is the town hall main number or web page. Suppose worse comes to worst the general police number, not the 911 and ask them. At least for the noncritical things. Critical being physical attacks, robbery, and etc.  Media, life, and people can present an oversaturation of information or opinions. Trying to find a balance between worry and anxiety is the trick of survival. Oh, maybe that is the meaning of life finding peace between concern and panic.

Have a great day. I am considering creating what I find in the media as a daily post since it is becoming rather crowded at the end of my weekly review. I will see how this works for me. When I watch the news, I find myself wanting to comment but find I want to research multiple facets of information.

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Contemplation of Current Volatile Topic Again

Some random thoughts came to mind as I did my brief overview of national and local news. Why must we be so confrontational in our society? I do not have a real answer to this one. Except maybe we should listen to each other. I see confrontation as individual groups speak what they think but do not hear what the other group is saying. Finding a balance between fact and opinion seems to be an excellent place to start and reach a compromise, which seems to be a losing art form. Current and historical answers that I am basing these thoughts from is below for anyone interested in reading.

Very uncomfortable by a small section of our society that is about destroying the monuments of our past. What if we instead relocate them and describe why they are no longer viable as a monument or leave them with a description or a comparison statute showing the change of heart in society. Present as a celebration of United States maturity as a mixed culture. There is talk of destroying Mount Rushmore. Why? When did we lose sight of what our country stands on? The United States used to pride itself as a melting pot of nationalities, culture, ideas, and history. Not all of it is pretty, but as a people, we can learn, grow, and change to a better society.

Making changes becomes a danger; not all aspects of needs addressed when handled quickly. How many people have been hurt by the removal of police from different cities? This subject still weighs on my heart and mind with the chaos around us and the knee jerk reaction to things that they genuinely do not understand. This lack of understanding comes from not living the situation and only have statistics or reports written by biased individuals pushing a goal.  

I still have only my reaction to voting and how to treat others. Just my anxiety and depression keep struggling to watch our politicians make change without fundamental research and discussion with the people genuinely involved. Who is involved with underinsured people, all citizens of all culture and nationality, and the first line police. When did we become a nation that relied on statistics and mob mentality, not the larger group’s needs? Not an aspect I can wrap my anxiety around because I am just one person and cannot change everything but myself. 

Corporate, Plantations, Business Owners, both current and past, have needed the lower masses’ labor. The Industrial Nation was moved forward on the backs of low income, immigrants, and their children. Chinese built our western railroad. People of color made our world through cotton, westward movement, tobacco, and many more. Our government killed and locked up our Native Americans. There will always be a segment of our society that is negatively impacted by policy, social change, or big business. Where can we go from here as individuals? That is all we have because, as a society at large, there has been a segment of culture that initially does not fit but has as the years pass that can change if we move forward well.

What about our Chinese society that rules were out in place to limit the businesses they could own? What about the need for mental health care or finances that can cause people to not succeed in potential, become homeless, or be in prison? What happened to the topic of how low women are paid or chose family over career until later in life and career options decrease? How about the high cost of healthcare and insurance companies not covering needed care?  

There costs to all rules, politics, and corporate needs. Yes, all of us being equal would be fantastic, but it is not feasible without losing a lot of freedom. I want to live in a country where with hard work, sacrifice, and chance, I can better myself. That is not possible in countries that oversee all aspects of their citizens’ lives. If we keep pushing for social change to happen without accurate planning, if we are not careful, the changes will endanger the freedom and sacrifices that our forefathers have made, and a dream for other world citizens to strive to join. By destroying our monuments and passing rules and changes regulating our decisions. All I ask as the months move closer to November, we research all aspects of our local, state, and federal politicians, not just news and social media’s most significant voice.

Unsure why this topic keeps scaring me. I am scared of some of the current decisions made that seem short-sighted and are genuinely not for the whole. YES, there is a crisis in our nation about segregation, but all minorities have some abuse history. The black community seems to have a higher amount at this time and the past. Why do I fear to monitor every word out of my mouth? The media is presenting our society as all racist, uncaring individuals. We have things being changed, such as Aunt Jemima logo, Uncle Ben, and Cream of Wheat. Why must these be replaced when they show an individual as a respectful creator of the product or trusted individual suggestion to consume. We are moving toward the point that we cannot use the word white or black. If that is the case, do we need Crayola to remove these two colors from the crayon and marker box? How far is this going to go? The Dixie Chicks have changed their name to Chicks, so isn’t chicks derogatory toward women? Just some questions I have that I do not have answers to. All I have is more anxiety as to how I will write or talk who will it offend. Then I realize at this point even if I sneeze, someone will be hurt. All I can do is be transparent that I do not mean to insult; it is just where my current knowledge places my opinion.

Prayerfully, this finds everyone well. Thank you to those who read and follow. We will survive, but let’s strive to live well and be proud of who we are to others and fit in this ever-growing topic of change—living as an individual, not as a whole unit. We are individual puzzle pieces to the greater whole of the world. I am striving to remember that each puzzle piece shaped differently to make the whole picture. It is okay if I fit into the whole, but I will not be the same as everyone.

A quick side note was going to post the links to the Black Lives Matter website, but there is so much out on the web that came up on the search that I got confused, and I felt alienated and more scared than I was before just by reading them. Now just going to stick to what I have and keep trying to find a knowledge level that keeps my depression and anxiety on an even keel on this subject.

Current News Links that started this rambling idea.

Minneapolis City Council Unanimously Approves Proposal to Disband Police BY AMY FORLITI AND STEVE KARNOWSKI / AP UPDATED: JUNE 26, 2020 5:59 AM EDT | ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: JUNE 26, 2020 5:59 AM EDT

Unilever to drop terms like ‘whitening’ from beauty products By The Associated Press June 25, 2020, 10:56 AM 2 min read.

‘Horrifically racist’ backlash prompts Oregon county to drop non-white mask policy by BROOKE WOLFORD JUNE 24, 2020 05:07 PM, UPDATED JUNE 25, 2020 03:26 PM.

South Dakota Gov. Noem vows to protect Mt. Rushmore: We won’t stand for ‘radical rewriting of history’ By Talia Kaplan | Fox News

The Term “Master Bedroom” is Now Racist – Anthony Brian Logan Commentary collection of different new articles that he shows. 

Historical information is part of our culture.

Building the Transcontinental Railroad: How 20,000 Chinese Immigrants Made It Happen At first, railroad companies were reluctant to hire Chinese workers, but the immigrants soon proved vital. LESLEY KENNEDYUPDATED:APR 30, 2020 ORIGINAL:MAY 10, 2019 

Child Labor – UPDATED:APR 17, 2020ORIGINAL:OCT 27, 2009 Child Labor HISTORY.COM EDITORS

Industrial Revolution HISTORY.COM EDITORS

 How Slavery Became the Economic Engine of South Slavery was so profitable sprouted more millionaires per capita in the Mississippi River valley than anywhere in the nation. GREG TIMMONS UPDATED:DEC 18, 2019ORIGINAL:MAR 6, 2018

UNDOCUMENTED FARM LABOR SMALL PORTION OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS LEGAL WORKERS WILL HAVE TO BE PAID MORE, TAXMAN SAYS. By Shawn Williamson 3/9/2017 on Success Farming

Ran across this song and explanation of God Bless the U.S.A. by Lee Greenwood. It gave me hope that we will all recover from these polarizing and dividing situations of 2020. 

Lee Greenwood – The Story of “God Bless the U.S.A.” – Country Road T.V.

I have also included a scriptural perspective on the race discussion from Tony Evans, who I have found to be reliable but easy to understand the biblical teaching. Yes, I know not every church person does not follow, but remember, even in the church, there is left, right, and in between individuals, we all have different ways of hearing. Many forget or find a hard time to live what they hear. As an individual, we are responsible for striving to live respectful of God’s teaching, but we are also human and miss massively all we can do is keep trying. At least that is my perspective because I even have met people that I am embarrassed to say I am a Christian.

Questions From our Listeners, Part One on June 26, 2020 – Tony Evans

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Working Through Newest Media Topic

Well, I see I have lied to myself. I was planning to stay away from the Black Lives Matter subject in my posts. As an individual and upbringing, I do not feel I have a right to concentrate on the subject, partly due to limited impact. For health reasons, I need to focus on the professional and self-healing of my mental health. I felt comfortable last week when I was in my decision to vote for change and treat those I come in contact with equally as I always had tried.  

Current media topic of defunding the police here in the US; a quick reaction terrifies me that my family’s safety and community; I hear no substantial how-to policy changes, just rhetoric. Yes, reform needs making, but the way the media presents this defunding makes me feel unsafe. Felt safe during the peaceful protests or the riots—this seeming broad sweeping defunding terrifies. Also, the Democrats wearing the ethnic colored scarfs seem more like a photo op and voting opportunity than a real understanding of what asked.  

What I strive to do is research as best to my ability both sides of what presented. Which going through it continued to terrify me. So here are the parts I located, and where I place my personal opinion and conclusion.

Defunding the police could mean replacing officers with social workers, says expert – Canada CBC News

Canadian media review of what defunding means. Which seems safe from the beginning. The discretionary view is part of the concern. The structural change sounds good, but I do not see much in the regular news of how this will work. My question of social workers is about racism with-in social workers. Additionally, the social workers we currently have now what is the procedures they follow. The problem: Why do we need to be told to care for our citizens’ social needs. If we have not done it in the past, what does that look like now? Some of the ideas mentioned, if done well, seem possible to work. But is that not what social services was supposed to be from the beginning. Why do we need riots to push at the process already in place?

‘The Five’ struggles with the left’s growing call to ‘defund police’ – FOX News

Diverse view of what has to lead up to the current racism protests. Liked the question of who is a more or less racist argument among politicians. Which begs the questions, what are we arguing over when human lives are at risk? The topic seems to be moving into a political stamp, and not a people need because we are moving to an election. Fascinated about the toss of statistics around that are different depending on the origin of statistics.

Full BLM Co-Founder ‘Defund the Police’… – NBC News

I hear her point, but if we are increasing social reforms and workers. A system that is already overwhelmed; we cannot even protect our abused children or assist in the care needs of others. What will this increase in social care be toward, and how? My concern is what happens to all people that this system helped. Just a quick on timestamp 3.28-3.35, she mentions that Black Lives Matter started six years ago. Initially, I thought that was unfactual then realized she meant her specific group when that phrase had used for centuries, even back during Martin Luther’s and James Baldwin’s time.

Why defunding police could lead to alternatives that help communities – Canada Your Morning

I do agree with him that this is just an election moment. There will be no change. Bring up the thought is that if we genuinely look at the number review. I did notice he mentioned mental health. Those who do have funds have a hard time now to get services, so how are we going to finance an increase in mental health care. Do these big corporations understand what they fund? I do agree with him on the corporate level of integration, and it is not just the black lives that impacted even though black lives impacted harsher than others.

In going through a small amount of what was available, I could not find much on what the case managers feel about this shift. I do know from many of the articles I receive from social worker associations that before this, there is a high burn out rate. What is to prevent even more trauma as their duties increase?

I love being a police officer, but we need reform – Melvin Russell on TED Talk (2016)

I found this an excellent perspective from four years ago that the instant change some protestors, media, and politicians are immediately demanding as we already know needs changes. This change requires changes in the local area with desire, thought, and planning. Love the image of a clergy member in each of a police car (time stamp 9.13) not to happen just his vision; it could be anyone that the community respects. Sadly, when looking up Baltimore, I ran across this article showing systemic racism, https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-systemic-racism-in-baltimores-police-force/2016/08/10/86ce448a-5f3f-11e6-9d2f-b1a3564181a1_story.html. Which at least to me presents it is the individual leader who makes a change, not broad sweeping legislation changes. Found a follow up 2018 follow up of what Melvin Russell says to Dandymite Media. ‘I Hate the Police’ What Happened?

Currently, for me, the town I live in is not explicitly talking about defunding our police. In a way, though our voting on police levies our community defunds the police often, it is not something that routinely passes when we vote. Why do we not take these changes demanded of police defunding with actual workable facts and policies and put it to the citizen to vote? Politicians do not seem to have a personal history of making these decisions well. Let the people genuinely impacted by the removal of our police force, and an increase and social services make the decisions.

Anxiety and depression wise I am still terrified and distracted by what-ifs. Emotionally going to place this subject where I did Black Lives Matter protests. Watch what my local politicians are doing. What voting or town hall meetings are available on this subject. Attend and vote where needed. I can only oversee what happens in my town—an state and federal when it is my time to vote. Watching once a day, a variety of news outlets from around the country will keep me updated and aware. I was striving to not concentrate on these topics because I see the media following the political party’s opinions and makes them look good for more votes for their party, not what will genuinely help those involved and impacted. The recent wearing of the kente fabric (https://www.aaihs.org/the-history-and-significance-of-kente-cloth-in-the-black-diaspora/) by federal employees, personally reinforces that. Just painful to see the pain of those that need help to be ignored again but given lip service that things will change this time around.  

Do have a positive I was able to make some personal progress on my Anxiety research.

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Week Review 6/1-5/2020

Must say this week was a success for me, almost thought I was going to have to claim a full failure. For those who do not live with mental or physical health concerns, it is probably considered a failure. Those opinions are not me thou I am going to stand on success proudly. Where I had struggles this week thinking things through and did only accomplish physically the minimal and did not accomplish the anxiety research I wanted to. Started the week dwelling heavily on information from news outlets and social media conversation and what was presented on the subject of racism protests, looting, police and politician interactions thought was going move me into the emotional position of failure.

Writing my thoughts and continuing to research the subject on Thursday settled my mind for the most part. I have had to accept that due to where I live and my own physical and psychological limitations. I am not a physical protestor; all I can respond peaceful and not forward social media posts that stroke a fire that accomplishes nothing. All I can do is educate myself and my daughter, so we strive to continue to try to the best of our ability is to treat all equally. Indeed all lives matter.  

What kept me struggling at the beginning of the week was the violence and how a segment of our society said it was okay because people were in pain. Another aspect that kept pushing me was the struggles and actions of racism toward the Native Americans, Orientals, Muslims, Physical Disabilities, Mental Disabilities, Religious choice, LGBT, or any other aspect outside of the ‘normal’ that looked at critically. I understand from what I have researched; blacks have it worse; there is a whole culture of disdain and pain if I have read the right things. Also, I kept cycling with why as a society we go up in arms for two maybe three weeks, and then it is all forgotten when something new takes over the media, and no actual change takes place.  

The other aspect of struggle was before two weeks ago; the police could do no wrong during this shelter in place. How, as news outlets and social media, can we move from one subject be amazing to critical and death the next? Almost ready to swear off watching the news, many seem to fan the flames of anger and pain not report equally. Also, I am tired of questioning what truth and sensationalized. Sorry to rehash a subject that is moving back to a forgotten topic and that I already wrote on. Just I kept feeling like a failure as a person because the whole black squares on social media more irritated me than proved a point. Celebrities are popping out of the woodwork supporting the subject of black lives matter. If they genuinely believe in what they speak, hopefully, they are already involved in making changes. The subject that has been around since our country helped founded with the help of slavery? Plantation owners built their money from inexpensive workers.

Additionally, as a society, at least if the US population had not changed some, they would not be in at least have a chance to be in such a place of financial prosperity. I just felt like I was failing as a human because I cannot help in this struggle. Nevermind my simplistic thinking is we all live on this earth. Why can’t we accept we are all different and will not agree on everything. Must we respond to differences with violence? Then I realize that is unrealistic because we have had wars for less. Okay, I am moving off my soapbox of confusion and concern.

I am moving on reading and watching the pain. Both the protestors and the police are trying to make positive changes. What stood out and was concerning was those that communicated with violence attacked was looking to keep this week as a failure. The reason I have moved toward success is that I have accepted that I am a remarkably ineffectual cog in a wheel of something I cannot understand or change due to personality and location. Change needs making, but I am not in a position to contribute. I am okay with that now. I took many days toward feeling like I have failed blacks and society. But my success is that my anxiety and depression are not putting me at a place of emotional destruction because I cannot fit myself emotionally to what social media says we should be. It is not who I am.

To me, we are all human beings. I may not agree with the decisions made. I am embarrassed at times of calling myself human. But we are all indeed individuals, and we all look and interact with life differently. Experiences cause differences, thought processes, emotional reactions, education, and so many to list. Those differences are surprised when things are going well.

On the issue of black racism, yes, from what I have read, things are wrong. We are still a foreign culture as a melting pot of beliefs, customs, and history of pain and poor political decisions. The US has at least changed a small amount we had a black president, 50 years after Martin Luther King Jr. and 150 years after the civil war ended. Heck, I know at least in my family that some members are older than I use negative words to describe blacks because that is what they have always called them, and ‘that is what they are.’ All I can do is personally ask that person not to speak like that around me. The world as a whole, there will always be sections of our society that are extremists. Where does this leave me again?

All I can do is concentrate on continuing to treat everyone I come in contact with as equal. We are all capable of evil if pushed wrong. Striving to learn of who we are emotionally and what our strengths and weaknesses. My success in the week is that I am still standing; my anxiety and depression have settled. I am comfortable with accepting that I am not in a position to do amazing things. All I can do is research and teach to the best of my limited skills. Vote to the best of my ability, sign petitions when asked, and keep my section of the social media peaceful.  

Thank you for sticking with this journey of discovery through such a difficult subject we are currently rehashing in our news outlets and social media. May all those on the front lines of this current subject stay safe. May some progress be made in protecting all those directly involved protesters trying to communicate change and police striving to safely do their job of protecting all citizens of their area. May the police that should not be in that profession be safely found out and removed. Those destroying property and theft caught. Hopefully, the term racism is treated with care when creating policy changes that all minorities of ethnicity, religion, or thought be protected unless physical or emotional violence occurs. There are so many shades of grey within the words of racism.

Have a great week. Here is to be returning to making progress on my anxiety research.

I have included a couple of videos of James Baldwin that helped me see what life is from a viewpoint I have no reference to except a couple acquaintances and co-workers that are black. One from 1965 and 1979.

James Baldwin’s “Black Lives Matter” Speech (1965)

James Baldwin’s “Black Lives Matter” Speech (1965) – posted by Cave Jokes

Excellen James Baldwin speech in Berkeley (1979)

Excellent James Baldwin speech in Berkeley (1979) – posted by thepostarchive

Something that is opposite of everything but thought I would include this video and song. Video is Dick and Rick Hoyt of a father and son that participates in marathons (http://www.teamhoyt.com/). Song written by Paul Sikes and Bonnie Baker and song performed by Troy Johnson, found it uplifting during this time of struggle. 

The Extra Mile

Rory Feek – The Extra Mile

2013 Jimmy V Perseverance Award

The Story of Team Hoyt @ ESPY’s 2013 Jimmy V Perseverance Award in 1080 HD

Featured

Thoughts for Saturday

Thank you to all that have liked my posts. I much appreciate the support. I am sorry that even now, I am still not worked through my anxiety enough to allow the comments section to be part of the posts—one of my many flaws that at some point will work through.

Was listening to 5/1/2020 NBC Nightly News https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE7WYcGJV2I that brought a troubling question to the diversity of our country’s thinking – time stamp 4.03 Major Reopening. The topic was the re-opening of our country, protests, and the states slowly easing the shelter in place orders what I struggle with how I feel about the distinct separation in how people think about the re-opening of our country. I understand just going out and about as desired, but we still have a large segment of our country that is immune-compromised, and the knowledge about COVID-19 is still limited. The opening of our country is well financially and needs doing. Additionally, groups are talking about going out with a mask is unnecessary. I wish more people would wear masks at least in the area of the country (Northern Ohio) that I am in just on May 01, 2020, of our change in a stay at home order to stay safe traffic doubled when I had to leave for work as a Home Health Aide.  

Protests are freedom of our country Praise God, would like a little more diverse reporting of each viewpoint from tv. Why did several groups of protesters choose to go armed into the State Capitol of Michigan, Austin, Pittsburgh, and more? Did find a historical reason for the armed protests by TImothy C Hemmis, he wrote a ‘The Founders drew a line between peaceful protests and armed insurrection.’ The article gave a fascinating history to the initial thoughts behind protests. With some googling, I did find another piece that gave a more detailed perspective on why people felt they need to assemble armed currently. The article is ‘Michigan militia puts armed protests in the spotlight’ by Sara Burnett. What I was able to glean from this article is that there is a segment of our society that feels the stay at home order has attacked our freedom. Is the stay at home order an attack on liberty when things could have been so much worse in regards to our health? Then how should our politicians handle the pandemic? So where does this put me personally in regards to my anxiety, depression, and how I move forward when I either agree or disagree with attitudes around me?

I praise God that we live in a country that allows the freedom of our voice, so most are represented. Some of these voices may be stifled from time to time. Big business and our politicians who are supported by big companies do not want to see or hear those that are the backbone of the country, the hourly worker. We see this in a small aspect of how we praise the hospital (nursing and doctors) and police/firefighters. DO NOT get me wrong they should be appreciated; they are not paid enough for what we ask of them to do even if this pandemic was not happening. But very little praise goes to the eight to ten dollar worker retail, sanitation, factory, etc., that is also working under dangerous conditions or are unemployed. Nevermind in a month our police, fireman, nurses, and city workers will be unemployed due to state or hospital budget cuts that need balanced. Our federal government not supporting the state and hospital leaders. The money voted on was sent with strict guidelines that do not truly help our state budgets. State leaders who have been on the front lines of making the tough decisions about stay at home orders which impact their state economy and budgetary needs. 

Reviewing information and journaling has helped me and the anxiety about where my place is in all this current and future chaos. Honestly, I think I will be better off keeping to my initial plan of just listening to my state afternoon news conference and maybe listen nightly to one of the world news reports. Much of what I have journaled above has been there for years and even centuries and not changed much. Accepting that I am a low paid minion, entry-level worker, law-abiding citizen of our country that our federal politicians have lost sight of what our country stands on. Our country began and is supposed to stand on the Declaration of Independence of 1776. ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that their Creator endows them with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.’ (https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript). I am not in a position to do much else except to vote when it is time and with research vote and make choices that are best for the reliable working of our government, not fractured petty children masked as adults. Both Federal, State, and Local government officials are to serve all people, not just the stockholders and moneymakers. Beyond voting and speaking out after research, my other personal responsibility is to care for my family and the responsibilities I have to those around me.  

Emotionally that is all I can work with is me, family, work, and home first. One of the other aspects that came to mind while I was listening to the NBC News report is one woman’s comment at – time stamp 6:22. Her comment about how freeing it felt to be out. I think many of us can relate to after the last 5-7 weeks of staying at home and many more to come. All I ask is that some of us remember this after we begin to return to our’ new normal’. There are those in our society that are always staying at home not by choice. For emotional health reasons, physical reasons, hospitals, or nursing homes. Let’s try to reach out to those homebound or in hospitals. They would love to hear or read something and remembered other than the big holidays. Those that are homebound feel forgotten over the years, and now that we as a nation have had a small taste of what it feels emotionally and physically trapped in one’s home. Remember their, being home has been for years. Maybe it is time to reach out even it is to reach out to them by phone, flowers, or letter. Caring is not wrong; it takes a little bit of effort. Because even though they may have an ‘aide’ come to their home to help with primary care, that is not the same as a friend or family member to remember them.  

Keep striving to find what motivates, calms, and feels personally successful. Our successes are as an individual. All we can do is share our journey with those listening; hope it helps. Reframe life from sorrow to celebration as you picture it. Our experiences painful or beautiful can build a fantastic frame of beauty; even cracks are marks of beauty and resilience.

To end these thoughts on an upbeat note here is Matthew West – Quarantine Life. Hopefully, you get a chuckle from this as we move forward and find an equilibrium that works for us as individuals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyuaDo1eLEI I find these songs uplifting not depressing because it does show that even though our environment/home may look different many of us are going through that same feeling of loss of get up and go when we want.    

References

NBC Nightly News Broadcast (Full) May 01, 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE7WYcGJV2I

NBC Nightly News Broadcast (Full) May 02, 2020, 

The Founders drew a line between peaceful protest and armed rebellion, By Timothy C. Hemmis, April 30, 2020, at 6:00 a.m. EDT, https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2020/04/30/founders-drew-line-between-peaceful-protest-armed-insurrection/.

Michigan militia puts armed protest in the spotlight, BY SARA BURNETT ASSOCIATED PRESS, MAY 02, 2020 01:05 a.m., UPDATED 9 HOURS 26 MINUTES AGO, https://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/article242455851.html.

Declaration of Independence, National Archives, America’s Founding Documents, https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript 

Matthew West – Quarantine Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyuaDo1eLEI