Tag: current news

Journey of Personal Mental Health

FeaturedJourney of Personal Mental Health

Journey of Personal Mental Health striving to gain upward momentum out of my stall that my Anxiety and Depression have distracted. Mental Health is so filled with dips that the highs seem so few and far between and not worth the effort of patching life’s current or past potholes. Restoring to me is seeing a mental health professional, personal physician, adjusting individual behavior or habits that have worked, or the present buzz word ‘self-care. Currently, my mental health pit seems insurmountable. Unsure of just a shift or an accumulation of goals that did not come to fruition on schedule, dietary need, or my depression is flaring up for no specific reason. Probably a combination of all.  

Daily life seems so overwhelming between listening and being part of the world as a whole by listening to the news during this time of political transition and change from pandemic lockdown to limited free choice. We are all going through this at different levels and perceptions. For me, life is going to be a continued minimal viewing of the media. In a big world, perspective is how to live well when our media and politicians seem to squabble like children about decisions that either will impact us or only a tiny portion of society. I have mentioned that I often struggle with finding a balance between being aware of the world and not becoming overwhelmed. I am still happy just sticking with reading the Morning Brew and periodically checking headlines on Bing. I am still trying to remember to work through my interaction with the media. The low aspect of my mental health and continuing my personal choice to go simple on my life intersect with the larger country and world picture. I am adjusting to figure out what triggered my digging or exacerbate the downward movement that my mental health keeps digging with no end in sight.

For May, any time off is spent sleeping, which is not like me. From April to Present, I went from working 70 hours a week to 60 hours a week. With that thought, I should not be sleeping. I have more time in my day. In looking back, though, I had to accept that I had many changes take place in the last three months. March 2020 began the confrontational discussion in a society of how the Covid pandemic should happen. Personally, since July of 2020, I have been working two jobs, one home health with two clients and one job as a supermarket cashier and stock person. At the end of 2020, one of the clients I had passed away, which left me caring for one person and still working as a cashier and then training to be a key holder to a team lead, then department manager with the goal of store manager. Since the beginning of 2021, my body has progressively increased in problems. At random times, fifty percent of the day, fingers numb/pins and needles (feel like they are asleep) and arms from the shoulders down; before, panic did check my heart.

With that increase in health and back pain, I had to give up pursuing store management in the retail industry due to the physical nature of retail, the sector that a store manager is required to do as much physical work as those they lead. That said, that saw me leaving the retail, service, and restaurant, industry that I have worked in the last twenty plus years of my life and my employment career goal. The intention is also to leave the home health industry due to the physical and emotional demands of the job. Like retail, this industry is challenging to find employees for, so I am still working full time, intending to move to a part-time or on-call for one client once more staff are found. Everyone deserves to know that they have people that will help when needed.  

Continuing this review of May is realizing that my daughter is struggling with graduating high school and her journey of depression. With this, I found my pride had come into play and felt that I had failed her. Spending time striving to accept and supporting her journey through life with depression is more important than saying I had a child who graduated from high school the ‘normal’ way. Choosing to be happy, she will live well with what brings her joy; there are other ways to achieve that supposed necessary high school diploma. All are weighing my anxiety and depression, reinforcing that I fail because I left retail and was an unsuccessful mom. Still plan to replace the customer service work with travel agent work that has not happened yet; due to my need to be there for my client, as a home health aide is not feasible.  Feasability to do a fantastic job in both industries that need I high level of attention to detail. All these components have triggered my depression to the extent that the feeling of failure has made it difficult to bring myself out. However, I am starting to make progress. The below video from Adam Savage Tested assisted me in striving to think about moving forward and making changes to patch the pothole that I have found myself in. Need to adjust meds and strive to continue to accommodate food, vitamins, and goals.

Adam Savage’s Tested – “Ask Adam Savage: Coping With (and Learning From) Failure May 16, 2021

I know that it is not about depression but since I feel like a failure exacerbated by my depression. Adam’s video helped me acknowledge that feeling and having loss is a part of life. Mistakes made; success is accepting and learning from that. Mental health makes failure feel worse, but success is in acknowledging what happened and how to make changes to strive not to repeat and change habits or behaviors to learn from the ‘failure.’ Acknowledging the failure and realizing that the success is moving forward. Even if you revisit the loss, success is to keep getting up and returning to life’s journey.

I am looking forward to returning to the path of food search. I enjoyed the previous video (UC Davis Health – Brain Foods for Brain Health – Boost Brain Health with Good Eats) about food and health but a little bit more in-depth than my current place to work with since I have bottomed out. I will consider another information source since I am currently at a point of apathy and minimal concentration. That is, reviewing that deep dive will probably keep me stuck instead of moving up; it brings forth the thought of the new buzzword in mainstream media, “self-care .”

Self-care brings images of selfishness and narcissism nevermind I do not have the time for hours of meditation and exercise, never mind the desire to. So I did some research to find out what self-care is from a health and psychology level. One-piece I found on verywellmind.com had 5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life by Elizabeth Scott, MS, from 2020. Another was from Psychology Today titled Self Care 101 by Marie Baratta Ph.D., L.C.S.W. written in 2018. Another place I went to, which is always my first go when I search out simple answers to start my journey of self-improvement, is Mayo Clinic. Unfortunately, I did not find anything explicitly titled Self Care unless it was attached to other illnesses.

Finding self-care instructions geared toward specific illnesses got me shifting my idea of self-care as a level of selfishness started transitioning toward self-care, which I have always strived to do but stop short. After all, I am always putting others first because I think it is selfish to think of myself when others are hurting. Looking over my past and what I have currently read, I cannot care for others, bringing me joy. Therefore, I do not take care of myself. Unsure of why I never connected that I have strived for self-care in all my years of adulthood. 

Great I have acknowledged self-care is okay, but how do I keep implementing when I am currently wallowing in a pit of self-perceived failure—going to start with the list of 5 from Ms. Scott since thinking straight is difficult. The definition of Self-Care in this article is, Self-care describes a conscious act one takes to promote their physical, mental, and emotional health. There are many forms self-care may take. For example, it could be ensuring you get enough sleep every night or stepping outside for a few minutes for some fresh air.

 Another piece of the article that struck me was that I was on the right track now that I understood the building-resilience when faced with aspects of life you cannot change but still thrive. Ms. Scott’s five areas that create or maximize the best self-care are looking at Physical, Social, Mental, Spiritual, and Emotional.

She had the four questions (see article for the total question) condensed to adequate sleep, diet, awareness of health, exercise.   

Let’s review the personal breakdown: sleep is not an aspect I can fix until the client (quadriplegic and I have 80% of the care needs) gets more help. For those who care, my day starts at 5:30 am and ends at midnight; work from Monday to Thursday is 8 am to 4 pm and goes back at 7 pm, and finishes at 11 pm. For the most part, Friday is a day off to catch up on sleep and house chores. Saturday is 8 am to 1 pm; Sunday is two hours at lunch and then back at 7 pm to 11 pm. For those who say change your hours, I cannot; as an individual, if I do not go over six sometimes seven days a week, this individual does have the physical ability to handle day-to-day physical care needs. The individual has an amazing mind. But getting up to get a drink just cause the individual wants to is not possible unless set up to do so. Emotionally, it would be worse knowing the selfish choice I was responsible to make, caused an individual not getting up and living their day to the best. We all deserve to live to the maxim of our capabilities and be supported to do so.  

Next in the question’s diet is something I can work on, which is a constant struggle due to no appetite. Over the years, but mainly in the last six months, I have gotten a routine that seems to help. It is just sticking to it. I have found that I am not hungry in the mornings, so I mix either a chocolate flavor or unflavored protein or meal supplement with my coffee. Lunch is something I pack. Dinner is whatever I cook for the family. I carry beef jerky, nuts, hydration water additives, and protein powder with me in my work bag for when I am hungry, and it is snack time. Additionally, I strive to drink 4 – 24 oz bottles of water, next on the hit parade of self-care.

Taking charge of health was initially a little confusing. Is that not what you are doing with sleep and diet? Then I thought this probably means my mental health or any physical medical needs, hypertension, thyroid, etc., which prompted me to use my Fit Bit app more and purchase a glucose and blood pressure machine. The glucose machine is that periodically I have tested slightly high during blood work, but also both parents were juvenile diabetics, so that is a constant fear of mine. Okay, for me, the next is my kryptonite.

Exercise ick to be immature. Employment has always been physically demanding, so I never thought I needed to. I was getting 10,000 to 15,000 steps in a work shift. So why did I need to exercise? Asthma made it difficult to find exercise appealing. I am fat, and my husband married me fat, so why bother ‘killing’ myself doing something I find painful or boring? Knowing none of those were good reasons and making better choices never really clicked. After all, my whole body is having problems because I did not exercise my body as a whole, just my legs and arms. That came from a visit with my chiropractor, where I mentioned the workpiece. What was said clicked for me? Yes, I exercise while working, but I am only exercising certain areas of the body. What I need to do is exercise the other aspects of my body. For some reason, that clicked when other times I never got the importance. So okay, I need to, but how do I fit this in. Starting small but also how. How is locating something online that makes sense and is an easy start? Below is what I found, and I plan to start July 11, 2021, and see if following this for a month was doable with my current life schedule and how and if it helped. If it does not it is on me not the presenter one must follow though to succeed, just watching.  He also presents in another video the math of the exercise routine if that interests you.

Mark Wildman – 3 Best Exercises for Overweight People 

From there, I intend to have it in my calendar to look at Number 2 on the self-care life by Ms. Scott. 

So there you have it the delay in my writing was from living in the bottom of a pothole of mental health goo of defeat and self-hatred. Honestly felt that I was stuck forever and living in my own La Brea Tar Pits. So it is nice to see the top edge of my pothole and again slowly fill in and re-root my life back to functioning and creative goals and enjoyment of life. As is the theme of my life, a blog life is a journey, and there are many potholes and paths our life can take. It is how we live with mental and physical health that defines our journey and interaction with those around us. So keeping journeying forward and patching in the potholes of self-discovery, it is worth finding the failures and successes. There is no actual failure, just a revamp toward a better success. 

Faith Journey

Below is a sermon by Tony Evans about not giving up that has also helped me realize that we all hit bottom but we have support and direction we just need to change our perception of the world around us and the interaction which is ever moving there will be lows and highs.  Goal is to move forward even during the lows.

When You Feel Like Giving Up – Sermon by Tony Evans uploaded November 13, 2016

Works Cited

5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life, By Elizabeth Scott, MS  Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD Updated on August 03, 2020, https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729, 7/10/2021

Perspective and Living Life in the New Year

FeaturedPerspective and Living Life in the New Year

As the year twenty-twenty-one inches closer or is already here, depending on when I finish writing and proofing this piece. Looking ahead to the new year and striving for improvement when my mental health points out all the mistakes and failures is always an ongoing journey of life, the potholes of struggles and joy of patching up and climbing out and continuing the journey of life. I came across the below piece by Texas Country Reporter that initially hit all the buttons. I am a failure; I cannot do what this woman does.  

Texas Country Reporter – 93-Year-Old Mechanic (8/12/2020)

Then I realized I need to re-adjust my lens of perception. She is living her life that brings meaning and her perception of living life well. She is not seeing the negative and just doing and not accepting the word no. Her life as presented shows that finding what you are good at and enjoy is what is essential, not what those around you say cannot be done. If a ninety-year-old woman can be a type of Mechanic with long nails, and own a small clothing store, work six days a week. Who are we to complain about the little things. Our ingenuity and success in life should not be based on the perception of others’ view of success but our own. It may be difficult to see when we are wallowing in an illogical pit of negativity or overdoing the worry. 

I am trying to communicate and live because when I sense my thought process is leaning to the illogical negative, it is time to physically or metaphorically step back, grab a cup of coffee or tea, and genuinely look at the actual situation. Perception balanced with remembering past examples of when my mind created a problem when there was none. There are days when this works, and there are days that will not, and it makes me feel more silly. Trite but true, tomorrow is another day to change lives perspective.  

Living life is all about perception based on personal perspective and our own goals. We see this many times in the media and complaints or arguments based on a photo taken at one angle or a comment. A witness from another angle may not see the discussion but an agreement. What one may consider a joke another may see as an insult. Let’s use the example of the movie Forrest Gump (1994). To this day, I cannot watch the full film due to some of the previews showing where people made fun of him. He lived his life in the purest form. Am I missing out on an award-winning movie? Yes, but for me, I struggle to see beyond where the humor is seeing someone make mistakes or live life with purity and simplicity. Even though from the storyline, he makes some fantastic improvements to the world around him. Is my perception illogical, but it is a component of my life based on my history. So when speaking or seeing others, we do not know their account if a misstep is made. No-one is perfect. We should strive not to expect excellently or respect for a life lived well within the struggles that we have had or will have. 

Another perception and perspective being different based on lifestyle, social, culture, religion, faith, and finances. CBS News for something to ponder is the positive and disparity of finances. Will this change? Hopefully, it will, but I doubt it. The money will always be perceived to have success, and those without money have learned to adapt and move one. Does it seem wrong? Yes, but those of low financial seem to have a better chance of thriving and succeed in times of change than those that have had money now live in difficult economic times even when overwhelmed. Perception of living and adapting is striving to find success even during difficult times. When watching, I ponder that each side sees that they are right, and the other is wrong. All is about the profit margin of one and the life destruction and moving on of another. Unfortunately, it is based around money, and having to accept money will always rule our world. Succeeding in life is accepting and adapting one’s lifestyle without destroying others’ lives.

CBS News – Rising Tide: Priced Out in Miami – Full Documentary

To wrap this up and round out the ebb and flow of perception developed by history. Let me leave you with a cooking video. The onset seems odd, but what I found interesting is that the recipe started as a plan to cook a Mexican ‘Pot Roast.’ Still, when looking in past cookbooks, the roast was found at one point was quite prevalent in North America in the mid-eighteen hundreds.  

Glen & Friends Cooking – Spiced Beef Pot Roast Recipe (12/30/2020)

So I fibbed here is a final documentary of how one can strive to change one’s personal choices; this is no different from what our own country and other developed countries had in the 1800’s clothing industry. What can we, as individuals, do to purchase second hand, fair trade, or when financially possible purchase made in America. For some, this may not be possible now but at least trying to make changes with an awareness of how our actions may impact the larger picture. Furthered my understanding that injustice will always be in the world at large; it just changes location. As an individual, I can treat those around me with respect, be aware of what I purchase when I can financially, and accept it when I cannot impact the world’s greed at large.

Plot 11 – The True Cost – Documentary – Clothing Industry – Fashion Market – Capitalism – Modern Slavery (7/11/2020)

Let me leave you with this idea for the new year that as individuals, our perception of twenty-twenty, past and present, will be different from others. What is the point of arguments over the perception of information given from various news sources? Let’s strive to agree to disagree depending on where you are in your journey of life. It does not mean I will stop giving my perception and opinion, just how I am trying to balance the chaos I see and how my mind interprets it.

Hope you enjoyed this look at life’s perspective. May the New Year find you well and safe. Remember it is okay to reach out for help when the world seems overwhelming. Call a friend, family, professional, or telehealth professional.

Continuing Thought on 2021

FeaturedContinuing Thought on 2021

CBS Sunday Morning presented their ideas about COVID and planning.  

CBS Sunday Morning – Going to Plan B: When COVID pulls the rug out from under you 12/27/2020

While watching got me thinking about my previous post about the New Year and Planning. After watching I found comfort in reinforcing my plan to have goals, accepting those goals may ebb and flow toward completion or postponement.  

Change is okay for people, which is hard to say, coming from a planner and does not like change. We must remember to accept that life is not ideal or cookie cutter. What will work for one individual may fully not work for another. Pieces and parts will work together. Cookie-cutter got me thinking about cookies. Think about all those cookie trays that you either received or saw at work. None of them looked the same unless they came from a factory. The homemade ones may have used the same recipe, but none looked the same; hopefully, all tasted good. At the factory, mass-produced ones were okay but not as great as the homemade ones. Reinforcing that we are not factory-made, our lifestyle, culture, health, and society make us be the individuals we are. As we go into twenty-twenty-one, let us make one of our goals to accept that nothing is set in stone.

In taking information from the CBS Morning news piece, as individuals, we are all different. Still, we do need goals. The two professionals they interviewed had similar but dissimilar views also. In this time of the big picture, information is ever-changing and sounds so negative. Let’s make our goal to see the people in an equal light of struggling to live life well in this time of change and perceived chaos. Everyone has a story. Some may not be pretty, but choices made by them or others impact the goals of life. Everyone mourns the passing of people differently. Some may never stop. Is it frustrating, yes, but you may be in a similar spot yourself down the journey of life? Life is not fair people may not treat you equally as you strive to because they do not see the need.  

Our world’s big picture may look chaotic, and this chaos may impact your life. As an individual, take each situation that is affecting your life and strive to change it. Change can be the emotional component of looking for an example around Money being tight. Look at this as a means to eat portioned meals and set up a meal plan built around your food budget. Help you lose weight if that had been a previous goal or feel better by eating healthier foods. Maybe do pot luck meals with friends that are in the same boat. Look at moving somewhere within walking distance of a part-time job that may not fully impact your benefits or shop for food or carpool with friends that are also shopping.

There are many jobs out there that may not be ideal, but if getting up to go to work helps keep you focused, at least it is something. Home Health work is continually looking for people to care for those that are housebound. All that is needed is the ability and willingness to be the hands and feet for those in need. Extensive amount still have their mind just due to an accident or illness, need an extra set of hands to mop a floor, get them out of bed, cook for them in how they would like it, maybe help them with a shower, and so much more. There are so many needs and not enough caring people to help fill the need. Retail stores and factories need workers and a willingness to be trained, not your perception of the job but truly needed. Yes, it may be minimum wage, but at least it is Money coming in. Goals and looks many different ways just as we are individuals, so are the goals. Let’s strive to see the positive and understand the new year does not mean the chaos changes or ends. It is in our power and plans to change how we will live our lives and make changes that will impact our lives to the best we can. You are as trapped as you perceive you are. Really and truly, how often did you leave your house until someone said you could not? That does not mean I do not understand that concert, comic-con, wedding, and the list goes on canceled significant events. That industry has a difficult road ahead to reshape the promotion landscape, but there are those trying when possible to support them.  

Thank you, and may you find your spot in these life changing events and willingness to accept what cannot be changed and change the things that can. I have forgotten who’s quote this is; if I find it, I will add the info later.

Strive to change how you move through your day in the upcoming year.

I came across this video from Mercy Me that, for me, fit that drive to keep moving forward even when I feel suffocated by my mental health, choices, and physical pain. The desire to give up and forget about living in the here and now. Keep fighting to move through the day with a purpose to contribute no matter how small or large.

Mercy Me – Say I Won’t (Official Music Video) 12/4/20

Christmas in this time of Change

FeaturedChristmas in this time of Change

Life has changed in 2020, individually, society, culture, and religion. Currently, striving to remember that change is inevitable. Change triggered by life choices, community growth or decrease, medical, culture, and social change as events and individuals age and change their view on life and how they impact society’s culture and society. Contemplating the United States community, I see from behind a register and on the floor helping people find things. People used always to thank and wish the employee a Merry Christmas. Now, very little is said, even for my part personally. Christmas is a time of incredible joy from a faith perspective. We are celebrating the Birth of Jesus Christ.  

No, this is not; it would be best to say Merry Christmas, or I feel attacked religiously. I felt joy when someone wished me a Merry Christmas when mental health-wise struggled with my depression. It was just a reminder of seeing children get gifts, celebrating family and friends, calling or sending cards to people in the address book that brought up memories of why they were in that book. Sometimes calling them because you realized you had not talked to them in six months. I feel on edge now in saying Merry Christmas. I ran across the below articles when I searched for why it has become a stressor and taboo to say Merry Christmas. Even Happy Holidays can set people off.  

Had gone in search of why the increase in past years and even worse this year there is no joy but hesitancy in wishing someone Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays.

One was from Politico Magazine, who presented the article written by Daniel Denvir, who works at the Philadelphia City Paper written on December 16, 2013,   A Short History of the War on Christmas.  Found it fascinating that as many things impacting our culture, it began from a small Society or Association that wanted to change their culture. Does reinforce a small group of individuals changes whether that is good or bad; we shall see as the years move forward. The information presented was excellent in that it showed the polarizing extremes of liberal versus conservative sides. My takeaway is that Christmas is not to listen to the extremist and celebrate Christmas based on a family tradition, not a small society segment.  

Christmas meant to generate hope and goodwill for all, not anguish unless there was a loss personally. If there are no traditions, make some of your own. It could revolve around helping an individual or groups all of next year or getting together with friends in the same situation. Get out there, be creative, make your tradition, meditate on your faith, or begin contemplating what worked and what did not, and how to make changes starting in the new year. Moving away from the minefield of Christmas, I tried to find a positive spin toward Christmas.

I came across an article in Country Living by Rebekah Lowin written December 9, 2020, reviewing how Merry Christmas came around. Here’s the Origin of ‘Merry Christmas’ and Why We Say It Today short article but was packed with information that Merry Christmas may have begun in the fifteen hundreds. Found it fascinating that the phrases in many forms have been around for centuries. My takeaway is that using Merry Christmas is not an insult; it is a tradition. Let’s bring joy back by returning to a practice that was an aspect of culture, not an attack on religious freedom. Ground roots action, let’s say Merry Christmas.  

For some prayerfully many, the words are the reminder that Christ Our Saviour was born. For others, it is a celebration of family traditions. Merry Christmas is a cultural phrase of joy, peace, and sentiment. Many need this more than ever to figure out how they will make the money stretch to handle the basics. Others need the reminder of joy in the world, not the negative.

For me, Merry Christmas brings back memories of being at my grandparents baking cookies, helping decorate, and helping cook the Christmas meal. Remember listening to Christmas Music on records from John Denver, Frank Sinatra, and many more, and the Snoopy Christmas Album and love the below song. Sitting writing this up cannot even tell you why, but I feel joy just listening to it again.  

Snoopy vs. Red Baron “Christmas Bells” uploaded by sabrinaxify song written by The Royal Guardsmen 

Since I went from two ends of the spectrum of information, let me wrap this up with two videos from Matthew West presenting first the season’s sentimentality and faith this year. The other is the nitty-gritty of this year. WARNING the second video shows a negative view of Santa for little ears and eyes (children) and does finish with a fantastic reminder of ‘the reason for the season.’  

Matthew West – The Hope of Christmas (Official Music Video) November 6, 2020

Matthew West – Santa Claus COVID Confessionals (from The Hope of Christmas Live) – December 18, 2020

Thank you, Matthew West, for your exceptional talent and ability to put this all together.

Get out and start your traditions and memories of Christmas. Ignore the stores putting up Valentine’s stuff. Let’s strive to go into 2021 with hope and peace for a future year of more change and adapting to a new way of life.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. For those from different religious traditions, may you find joy and happiness? Maybe even start the practice of using your religious connotations. Merry Christmas and _______________! Let’s strive to bring joy to those around us. Let’s not feed conflict from both sides of the aisle. Merry Christmas in whatever form you find yourself celebrating. Life is change, and that is okay.

Random Observation – Mental Health, Personal Value and Covid

FeaturedRandom Observation – Mental Health, Personal Value and Covid

Personal random observation from a valley of depressive thought.  Depression and Anxiety have flared up this last week.  Unsure if the flare-up is due to being that I live in the Northern part of the United States, feeling of no value, or the constant empathy and wanting to help others.  The struggle has become in listening to the media.  Media presents all of these families facing poverty and the consequences of losing a home, education, and food.  Being in a grocery store cashing out individuals who have to decide what to buy when there is not enough money do they buy peanut butter or deli meat, etc.  Our politicians on the Federal level do not seem to care and keep squabbling like selfish children.  Our State and Town officials, at least in Ohio, make decisions that seem to help but follow through seem to be more lip service than actual change.  We have a stay at home 10 pm to 5 am; most people are home at the point those that are not are anti-social anyway and enjoy shopping and being in areas where there are no people regardless.  Then there is my employment struggle.

Being part of the Home Health Aide industry and working in people’s homes to care for the paralyzed or infirmed.  Retail Industry and caring for another base’s needs and finding my place in covering for call-offs.  Finding the balance between home life and making sure that an individual or client can have their primary care needs taken care of but not at the cost of my health mentally and physically and my family needs.  A friend of mine graciously pointed out my internal need to fix all problems.

Got me to thinking about why I try to fix things when the corporate owners, policymakers, and lobbyist should do so or at least what we are lead to believe but see little here in the US.  I also feel that we should still be accountable for the problems we see and help where we can.  What has been making me ponder my value in a cynical look due to my mental health?  Also, taking a view of the media presentation of information?  The roll-out of vaccination to the city hospitals.  I see little that goes to the smaller cities and towns.  Also, there is no information or planning about the general populace mid to late next year or the fall out when people realize that 2021 will be a copy and paste of 2020.

On the other hand, I do not want to take the vaccine NOT for any anti-vaccine reason, but personal health concerns.  I usually run on odd reactions or allergies for prescriptions.   The concern is the allergic reactions documented out of Britan. Unique value where you go when you see you have none and those around you gives you the impression you have none.

My takeaways are that I have value to my family even though the words are not said.  Value to the client I take care of in helping care for the basic needs that a spinal injury caused to decrease physical self-sufficiency but did not harm the mind.  Finally, there is value in caring for the feeding, clothing, and primary care need supplies to those coming into the store.  The weight must be found by myself and not seek to see it through the words or actions of the people I care for or the media.  Simple to say but harder to follow through.

For me, COVID has not impacted my interaction with others just due to the employment I have.  As individuals searching out and determining personal value may be challenging, but now is the time when you may have more time on hand.  There are employment opportunities. They may not be glamorous, but the retail, home health aide, kitchen help at hospitals, and more.  Working lower pay jobs is physically taxing but can help the budget extend and strive to meet some basic needs.  

Thank you for reading this random observation of my value struggles not genuinely impacted by COVID and 2020 chaos.  Low value has always been a part of life.  My takeaway is to stop making COVID the bad guy and accept that things are hard to step back and try to find where you can adapt to change and make the change.  For me, was start saying no or trimming back the time available to the jobs I work.  Stop giving COVID the power it does not deserve. Look around, make changes search the web or friend groups, and problem solve.  As a lower-income society, we have survived before showing the world we can survive and thrive in these financially challenging times.  Yes, government help would be beneficial, but it may come too late. Keep fighting. You can do this.

Thank you for reading for those that have communicated changes to my page or articles.  I will try to get to them, but honestly, I think some of them may have been a trigger to my lengthy anxiety attack, and in November, I worked on an additional component to my blog.  It just will take time for me to make changes.  I work 60 hours a week, fatigue from health needs, nevermind the blog, and family care.  

Life is a challenging journey meant to succeed in the individual eyes, not a comparison to another.  

Sample of having a problem and finding a solution.

CBS Evening News – “Season of Giving”: Former restaurateur helps serve his Los Angeles community

Something to think about mental health and striving on how to implement changes into one’s personal life journey from a larger picture presentation of information.  

CNBC Make It. – Why Finland and Denmark Are Happier Than The U.S. 1/9/2020

Thoughts from the Perceived Uneducated on US Politics and Corporations

FeaturedThoughts from the Perceived Uneducated on US Politics and Corporations

Consequences of the pandemic on the paycheck to paycheck segment of society that our federal and upper state politicians seem to ignore, but at least associations are trying to help or bring attention to the oncoming problem.   

60 Minutes: A wave of evictions is on the horizon. What impact could they have on kids’ education? – 11/22/2020

In previous writing, I have strived to write as Bi-Partisan of politics as I could. Childishly would like our government not to be as involved in everything I do as a lower to a middle-class citizen. On the other hand, I would like them to monitor or make decisions to oversee and make changes to corporations, which would benefit entry-level employees. Things like benefits, pay, safety, and cost of products and services. What has prompted this was the childish snipping from both sides of the political area through the media. One of the most recent media presentations that have bothered me the most with Biden and Harris on the cover of People Magazine – “It’s Time for America to Unite.”  

See the source image

Keep seeing the cover when I am at work. What keeps coming to me if politicians and the media want us to unite and are better than us should show us how teamwork is and pass laws that help all Americans, not just their pet projects and corporate financial backers. Action is better than talk, and I do not see anything positive from either side. Stop looking to the Lobbyists to tell you what to vote and pass. Communicate and listen to people that are not part of the political arena.  

As our country tries to rebuild, an idea for the coming year is to speak to the Credit Card, Mortgages, Hospitals, and Student Loan Companies. Find out what the total outstanding balances are. Instead of paying out a large portion of the money to citizens like the previous twelve thousand, it is a pay-off customer balance to the companies directly. The idea would allow the corporations to pay their employees and the American people to start fresh. It would have to be to pay the balances, not increase the pay of the CEOs.   CEO compensation has grown 940% since 1978. Typical worker compensation has risen only 12% during that time Report • By Lawrence Mishel and Julia Wolfe • August 14, 2019. Part of why our government needs to look at the corporate upper echelon to determine financial excess. How can a company justify paying the fired CEO millions of dollars? I get fired and have to look for a new job with no money. Moving forward with my lack of faith in corporate structure and lack of hope in our government helping the people that voted them in and support for fixing the chaos and financial drain this ‘pandemic’ has brought to our country.

Another article I ran across was from The Wall Street Journal. Joe Biden Vows to Unite America as President Sabrina Siddiqui, Michael C. Bender 11/8/2020. I guess part of me feels that if he was about unification, he should have been networking behind the scenes with the politicians that knew him to work with and compromise. Additionally, why did both sides of the political parties stop helping the American people just because of the election? I ran across an article that reinforces that politicians have a dim view of Americans’ bulk or uneducated.  BLOG Pelosi: Trump Supporters Aren’t Uneducated, They’re Just Really Sad’ By Craig Bannister | October 22, 2020, | 2:05 pm EDT; did we not vote for professionals that could work around the childish behaviors of their fellow politicians; or even contribute to the verbiage.

Another article I have found is an NYTimes Article, The End of ‘America First’: How Biden Says He Will Re-engage With the World. I came away from this article that the international scene concentrated on and that we are to forget about what it means to be American. Another aspect of this was that everything is Trump’s, the Republican or Democratic party’s fault. My understanding is that we are a country where our political parties are to work together. Yes, Trump said things he should have not and was extremely unprofessional here as an article about 4 American presidents with Trump-like traits. Politics December 28, 2016, 12:26 pm EST. We have had unprofessional presidents before that is the price of democracy and for the benefit of all and not get bogged down in pointing fingers. As individuals, let’s start being accountable for our thoughts and actions instead of blaming our efforts on a President, politicians, celebrity, or the mob mentality. 

Reading the media, I am concerned about what the next four years will bring. The continued backbiting and negative comments to put down the individual voting parties. We are a country that needs our politicians to compromise and vote as a unit to support ALL people. Restructure corporations, so they stop sending jobs overseas and not paying for equipment to be fixed. Additionally, they do not provide enough safety equipment even though the paperwork says they have, caring for those who need medical and physical assistance, and stop paying themselves lavishly. Return manual labor jobs to our country so the next pandemic, we are not waiting for other countries’ shipments. Bills allowing jobs to transfer to other countries happened throughout our years in a democracy. One was with a Democratic President and political party; How Bill Clinton Sent Manufacturing Jobs to China By Michael Bargo, Jr.  

Trying to point out that no one party’s at fault for the low economy, fractured racism, dysfunctional medical, dental, eye insurance and providers, or current COVID-19 scare. I will return to my safety net of lurking but not always fully engaging on the political front. Part of this, I want a brief awareness of the bills considered. Being fully involved in monitoring the political arena by watching CCN, CSPAN, Fox News, and other political commentaries become agitating and anxiety-inducing and exacerbates the typical person’s chaos. When politicians speak, they are condescending, pointing fingers, and out of touch with what is needed to help our country as a whole, so we are back to be proud to be an American, and this has been a decline for the last ten years, not the previous four. But it is one of the reasons that may have prompted Americans to vote for Trump initially.

As Americans, we are a collage of many races, practices, beliefs, religions. As individuals, let’s not wait for the political parties to tell us what to do. We are adults, and it is time to start living as we have taught our children. Teaching our children to work for what they have, succeed in what makes them happy. Follow the health rules in place that keep us safe. Take care of those that are less fortunate to show them how they can contribute. Contributions to our society can be big or small. Let’s stop looking at the skin color, religious belief, financial, or political party. We are a puzzle broken as individuals. We can start fitting into other puzzle pieces and begin to reframe American to greatness from the ground floor.

An example of finding a problem and fixing a piece of a life puzzle

News 5 Cleveland, OH – Oberlin professor creates app to help her son and others cope with chronic pain 11/26/2020 

News 5 Cleveland, OH -500 meals, blessing packages pulled together in two weeks during local campaign 11/26/2020

Celebrating Cultural Diversity – Daily Prayer

Faith Walk:

Found this Tony Evans piece a part of our college or puzzle piece that makes up the racism. Somebody can put the description toward all components of living. 

Tony Evans – Contradictions in American Christianity – Oneness Embraced Book Excerpt Reading by Tony Evans

Yes, Dr. Tony Evans is speaking about racism, but it honestly feels it is for many of the divisions we find ourselves trying to control a small part of the world around us. Let’s stop trying to contain the big picture and control ourselves around the things we can control. May this find you well.

Race and Reconciliation (Sermon Only, Dr. Tony Evans) – 12/2/2020

Works Cited from

Economic Policy Institute, 1225 Eye St. NW, Suite 600, Washington, DC 20005, Phone: 202-775-8810 • epi@epi.org

© 2020 Economic Policy Institute

Channel 5 Cleveland OH, Scripps Local Media, © 2020 Scripps Media, Inc

Happy Thanksgiving

FeaturedHappy Thanksgiving

Wanted to celebrate success in a company that took the 2020 COVID challenge to celebrate and adapted Holiday Tradition of the Macy’s Day Parade; with safety instead of totally cancelling. Congratulations, Macy’s and Verizon, all the employees and volunteers that participated and planned this event. Thank you.

Macy’s Parade – Thanksgiving Day Parade 2020 – Verizon

Macy’s Parade – Thanksgiving Day Parade 2020 – Macy’s Info Page

Retail Holiday Rant

FeaturedRetail Holiday Rant

Working retail during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving and Christmas always makes me question why I enjoy my job. One to two weeks before Thanksgiving, a portion of our customers increase in being mean and unforgiving of the slightest infraction. With masks, it is even worse because they feel more comfortable talking under their breath. Why do shoppers think that employees have no feelings?

My thoughts come in several components of why and how to counteract it mentally—unique ideas or perspective of why people are disrespectful and forgetful of goodwill toward all. One is people do not want to spend the money on the holidays. Two The family is making demands unachievable, or the individual is exhausted trying to provide. Three adverse holiday history but everyone around them is cheerful and happy and questions why they are not. Four keeping up with the neighbors or relatives and cannot compete or even have a desire to compete, but think they must keep the trend going. Five corporate entities have put holiday decorations and reminders out since September. Six all the personalities have to be appeased, but no one cares what and how they impacted. These are my perception of why, and there are probably many more.

Honestly, when a shopper is nasty to me, I strive to remember the above list. I do not know where they are emotional or physical. My feelings do get hurt; treated like I have no worth. I strive to remember some of that is my depression. The other is that being an hourly worker is considered menial and low value. Even though we did not work, people would have no way to buy food, products, etc. Another aspect I strive to consider I do not know where someone is the cell phone conversations people have prove that.

Given cell phone conversations, I hear when people are walking through the aisle, in line, put their items on the belt, and paying are numerous. Here are some, so YES, be aware your conversation is not private. Those around you do hear. Unsure about anyone else, but I would prefer not to listen to your private conversations. Why are you on the phone when it is about leaving your spouse, a child ran away and trying to find, money is tight, mother in law verbally attacked you and unsure how to handle it? Other conversations heard is you just needed space and left your spouse and staying with your affair, that the underwear not folded and needs put away, and many more. Nevermind the hourly employees that are supervisors that are still taking work calls off shift. Sometimes for questions that could have easily waited for the next day. The best one for me is when, as a worker, I am considered rude because I am not acknowledging you are in my line except to say hi and give the total of your purchases. You are in a private conversation; if I was at a party or networking event, it is inappropriate to approach; being on the phone is the same. An alternative is text questions and answers more private. You have also verified you tried to reach your family to find out if you needed to pick up milk or another blanket, or a present for a friend or family.

Opps did not realize I had so much pent up frustration over the phone conversations I hear and shoppers’ attitudes. No, we are not perfect workers. Yes, we have the workers that sit or stand around and talk instead of work. There are the workers that are slow as turtles. A worker is ignoring you; I have an explanation for, at least personally, I have poor hearing, and with masks, it is even harder now. For me, I periodically misunderstand someone or plain do not hear unless I catch a person’s lips moving before mask-wearing. Now, I have no reference point. But I do not need the attitude that you have to repeat yourself. Most workers are trying to get things right.

Another aspect is the screaming children that are not in an infant carrier. Please, if you are shopping with another adult, have that adult take the child outside or if the child is at an age to compromise and let them pick a toy or candy if they behave through the whole store. Please do not give them something if they have been screaming through the entire store. It is draining, whining, crying, and repetition wants candy or toy every minute at the register. One, it is distracting when trying to converse with other customers. Nevermind the headache; many of us have halfway through a shift.

Now with the mask-wearing mandates. Some of us are not allowed to speak to a customer due to company policy. Remember, some of us still have to wait on these people who chose not to wear a mask. Customers get huffy if we take time to wipe down the areas and slowed down. Other customers are huffy that we have not had a chance to wipe down because we have a line of six people to wait on. Nevermind, we sometimes run low on supplies. Surveys are continually saying they had to wait, so what do you want us to do. Wait on you with speed, and no cleaning or slowness, and surfaces sanitized. Due to the pandemic’s change in cleaning policies, we will be slower to adhere to CDC health guidelines.

Above are constants throughout the year; there tends to increase screaming and customer attitude during the holidays. Some are due to children’s schedules being thrown off by get-togethers and parents concentrating on prepping for a holiday and not spending as much time with them. Another alternative is trying to pay for the holidays and just asking people to be aware that we are human too and respect that we are providing care to you. Yes, we may not be police, fireman, doctors, and nurses, but housekeeping, call centers, clerks, waitress, and any other public encounter have a place in this world.

Sorry for the rant. Being in the Customer Service industry in many varieties, I just reached a breaking point since I had all of the above in an eight-hour shift that seemed constant. 

Side Note: from the supermarket industry or any that provide carts. Can everyone go back to putting the cart into each other instead of just rolling into and leaving them loose in the corral? Lifting them when they have fallen to the side is frustrating and hurts. Since today is a mentally gloomy day, why do some people feel safe to put a child and elementary, sometimes the middle-school-age child, in the cart’s large area? If they do not fit in the front room, they are supposed to walk with you? 

Have to say sorry, but this is heartfelt, so it is draining treated like we are expendable, which I guess job-wise is everyone right now, just from the eyes of a Service Associate that is already tired and has a month and one week left of the holidays. Which will then move into four to five months of decreased hours and still cranky customers; we will not have enough staff to provide speedy service due to budget cuts till sales increase. Another factor of the grumpy customers is that the bills from the holidays come in, and have to balance buying groceries or paying the credit card.  Another reminder of Loving All even when we do not see eye to eye; like the customers who give puns every time they talk, you hate puns but have to smile like they are lovely.  

Thank you to those who thank us and acknowledge that we are trying as best we can.  

John Paul White ft. Rosanne Cash – We’re All In This Together Now (Official Video)

Found uploaded on April 24, 2020, but it is a reminder that we are still at a difficult point. We do not have an end date yet for the outbreak. As a world, we need to keep caring for all of us. People are stressed, depressed, starving and out of work, and that number will continue to increase. Those working do not know if they will get sick or have a job the next week. Everyone is under stress, not just you; let’s try to remember that when we are out and about this holiday season.  Maybe it is time to stop trying to Keep up with the Jones, instead strive to love our families be they blood or not as they are not how we want them to fit our wish.

Thank you for reading. Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, Happy Hanakana, and all unknown holidays.

From https://www.askideas.com

Just a perspective of the public and investigative media on supermarkets: My only concern for these spots mentioned is again time and staff hours are given to the store is limited. These limits do not always provide time to take care of all of these aspects mentioned. The tap pay mentioned, not all companies have that possibility. I liked how they said it is the customer’s responsibility for self-care, not just the company.

CBC News – The dirty truth about supermarkets (Marketplace)

Here is some information and acknowledgement that nurses are struggling.

NBC News – Pennsylvania Nurses Go On Strike as Covid Cases Surge – 11/18/2020

Thank you to all the industries that deal with the same or similair issues but I do not feel right speaking for a bus driver, landscaper, or anyother service industry that I do not have a direct reference to. Keep up the great work the world could not run without us. Would love to return to a time that all forms of employement where considered valuable instead of just the college degreed.

Thank you for those who read. Again a reminder my anxiety and depression I am not a position at this time to read and respond to comments.

Why Didn’t I Think of That?

FeaturedWhy Didn’t I Think of That?

Several days ago, Channel 5 in my home area ran a fun article. Got such a chuckle, which then moved to why didn’t I think of that? Surprise, there is not a franchise chain of these, takes recycling to a whole new level. Recycling could use or sell the products they cannot recycle to these places.

Enjoyed a new idea? Maybe some of these all over the world is one now in the Mogadore, OH area. 

You bought it; you break it at Rage Room Ohio – News 5 Cleveland

Of course, this got my mental health side thinking. What if this would be a partial therapy option for those who have difficulty controlling their rage or had an outlet to vent before it got too much for them to control in most situations? Just a thought to think about to all those highly educated professionals to research? Could this be something that would allow an individual that is prone to rage work through it easier? Have them use a room like this than after or during a session. Have a professional talk with the individual about what they imagine during smashing/venting. Help them work through what the triggers are and optional thoughts to consider, so not get to that rage point faster.

Have a great day, everyone. I hope everyone is well during this time of change for everyone.  

Now I am off to collect all my breakable I don’t want in the garage to use later for my rage. LOL. Since the police in my neighborhood would probably be called. I guess I will stay police visit free and just set up an appointment in Mogadore.