Diversity of Perception

FeaturedDiversity of Perception

People are fascinating! This fascination has increased as my years here on earth continue. Searching for understanding and living as part of this earth with mental health needs sees my anxiety foundation to please whoever I meet even at my health cost. This pursuit of understanding people and my anxiety; developed my purpose of understanding was through a Bachelor of Psychology, watching tv, and reading books, articles, and the Bible. This Research increases the feeling that people, no matter a small village of twenty in the backcountry or an urban sprawl of three million, we will live to disagree on all subjects, large or small. Diversity is a fantastic ingredient to living life to the fullest or complete chaos. As individuals, we must choose to engage in this life around peace, mediation, frustration, or anger.

Diversity of people and living seen through the subjects people pursue to have an opinion. The opinion of faith, religion, music, social media, houses, fashion/clothing, furniture, churches, politics, rules, and so many more. Childishly I struggle with why we cannot just get along; it would make my anxiety so much easier to live. Suppose I did not have to worry about how I spoke to someone and how they will perceive what I have said as an attack or agreement on the facts that I base my decisions and opinions. Opinions have become subject to the idea, turning them into fact-based on where and how they presented in social media and private conversation. Added fuel to the fire of discontent that some feel. Rationally I know that people will always feel differently than I, and I cannot please everyone but the mind has different ideas. I am still doing my ostrich routine of touching base briefly on subject matters important to me and the current worldview and watching national news, leading me to find two YouTube presentations. The presentations are about monuments and racism and a celebrity choice in responding to these 2020 contentious subjects.

CBS Sunday Morning – A monumental reckoning with Mo Rocha 10/11/2020

Mo Rocha of CBS Sunday Morning presented a piece about Monuments of Historical figures and how since May of 2020, there has been a push to have all removed. The first individual he spoke with was Eric Armstrong Dunbar, a Rutgers History Professor and Author who sees George Washington as one of our founding fathers and a slaveholder. Got me thinking about the Diversity of our Perception toward different subjects. These perceptions were made, by how we grew up, lifestyle, culture, society, research topics and origins, and our mental health position. George Washington shows how our lifestyle, community, and culture impact how we perceive people and physical representations of history and art. Found Ms. Dunbar, perception of monuments and how above elevated people and the power of over us. Personally, my perception is that it is over a top idea. I can see what she is saying, but why do we have to put so much thought into a piece of metal that many may not even know who it is except that we need to meet if we get lost in a new city. Additionally, it does reinforce the cultural and societal positioning at the time of statue installation.   

Another historical figure was Christopher Colombus’s removal and the perception of his statue based on culture and advocacy to the political arena at the time of installation. The Italian Americans had him put up as pride and response to them in 1890, but others see him as a figure of oppression. Mo Rocha spoke to Lonie Bunch of the Smithsonian about statues taken down and their place in history. His position is that statues should present today’s value and the challenge that would become. That the changes to the figures should become part of a discussion, and discussion is not taking place. Ms. Dunbar was of a similar mind, but her words supported the destruction of the current ones based again on the opinion/perception that rage fueled the attacks. A rage becomes physical attacks. Another author interviewed presenting a different perception of the situation.

Richard Brookhiser comes from the thought that humility should be part of the discussion. Loved his phrase, ‘If you are only going to have statues of perfect people, you are going to be left with Jesus Christ.’ As a believer, I agree that someone may completely oppose their personal experiences of Jesus Christ and religion. He has written about many of our founding fathers. He compensated for his position at George Washington’s role in our history. Lonie Bunch also feels that our historical people should give a foundation for discussion to change the landscape of understanding and diversity of culture statues.

Philadelphia, in 2017 placed a statue of Octavius Catto, a murdered 19th-century civil rights activist. Why do our children not learn of this level of history also?  

Learned that statues toppled in anger have been happening since we have been putting them up in response to what we perceive is the good of our historical people. Then removed as history change so personal perception is this destruction should be a part of the conversation and another shift in culture that prayerfully will not turn into a Civil War that will kill 700,000. I considered trying to find actual numbers of blacks killed versus police who died in the line of duty. I wonder what the real numbers will show, but again perception of presented statistics would make that search difficult. Unsure if I genuinely want an answer because it is not something I can fix. Additionally, just seeing the diversity of thoughts over statues and their destruction or creation is extensive.

On a positive uplifting, how as an individual can change the landscape by the choices we make in interacting with others. CBS Morning interviewed Jon Bon Jovi and his wife’s response to the 2020 hot topics. Shows that we are responsible for our actions in the positive or negative. Do we support and lift those in need or be bitter and complain about the small and large aspects of life that we perceive as important.  

CBS Sunday Morning – In Conversation: Jon Bon Jovi with Lee Cowan – (NOTE: Upon the time of posting this a week later it is no longer available and unsure why? But have left it just in care it returns.) It did talk about the new album for 2020, then postponed due to COVID. Then he looked around to the people’s needs that he could help—seen through the soup kitchen and food bank/pantry. He mentioned that the music-wise was able to move toward writing about the country situation. That song was Do What You Can. Another one toward American racial conflict in America’s Reckoning. Both amazingly fit the problem that is the foundation of what becomes confrontational opinions—striving for personal accountability of changing how we live at a one to one level, treating our fellow humans with equal care.  

I am striving to live to the best of our ability with the information we have from reputable sources. My perception/opinion of reputable sources is Research from scientists, a generalized overview from our government, and my situation.  

One aspect of current politics that is important even in this diversity of perception is that those in the United States are getting out and voting either early, absentee, or November 3rd. We are a democracy still, even though it may not feel like it to some. We do yet have a right to vote and present our opinions through the ballot box. My grandfather always said that one does not have the right to complain about decisions politicians made if one did not take the time to cast their votes.

Non-Faith-Based get out to vote, and here are two non-partisan sites. One is from 2018, so the Uber and Lyft information is not fully current, but here is the 2020 information I found (Lyft, Uber to offer discounted rides to the polls on election day, by Trevor Mogg on 9/16/2020).

How to Vote in Every State 2020

2018 Non Partisan Voting Resource by Kristin Brey

Here is a faith-based response to the need to vote that I found a great listen.  

Jonathan Evans – Official Endorsement on 10/9/2020

Thank you to those you read Random Observations. Sorry I do not respond comments maybe further on I will.

Imitating an Ostrich

FeaturedImitating an Ostrich

Imagine an ostrich how we think that they hide from predators with their heads in the ground.  


Coming to find out that they usually crouch to camouflage with nature. 

National Geographic Information on Ostrich

With that in mind, for the benefit of my mental health and all of the current anxiety-inducing subjects.  Subjects that are anxiety and depression triggers are the loud conflicts of mask-wearing, pandemic facts versus opinions perceived as fact, election fact vs. fiction, politicians, race, right to protest versus rioting, etc.  I will continue to imitate an ostrich’s nature to camouflage myself from being part of the conflicts to protect my mental health.

I have touched base on this through past blogs, but as the weeks and months keep pushing on the fractured world we live.  The most recent is the latest Political and Black Lives Matter ads.  As a white person who strives not to see race, religion, color, or lifestyle choice, instead, treat the individual’s actions.  Since the end of May, I have struggled with the media telling me I am a horrible person because I am white; therefore, I’m privileged. 

Explained: White Privilege, Systemic Racism and Implicit Bias | NBC10 Philadelphia  · 7/6/2020

I struggle because judgments are made on many society segments, many based on economics; unfortunately, color is just more visual of a presentation. Still, clothes and street addresses also impact people’s impressions of who you are that may not be factual.

When I see ethnic and black people succeeding in life around me, additionally, the opposite end of the spectrum is those of all social, political, and racial range rioting, not just blacks.  We are a country of many options again; we need to find workable solutions for all, not just the loudest or violent voice.

Yes, I am blessed if I did not have anxiety. I do not have to worry about being stopped by the police just because of my skin color.  Of course, I still worry about being stopped with fear due to thoughts like did I stop slow enough, stay long enough at the stop sign, and any other illogical thoughts like that.  A person of color has many more views, at least from what I understand of different articles and YouTube videos.  Another example is people calling the police because they are just there or in Trayvon Martin’s situation just because he was walking home.    What keeps running through my mind is that the financial aspect keeps a large portion of our society down.  Yes, color is a part of it, but educating the diversity of learning styles. It is what we should concentrate on; as a society, determine how to inform the different learning styles equally.  For me, equal education is to bring back apprenticeships, skills testing in junior high and again yearly in high school, and counseling for all, not just those perceived as having problems.  Another aspect is to support those equally that are not college-bound and assist with finding training programs for their skill interests.  Also, arrange for junior and senior high school students to shadow their perceived career choice, so they genuinely see in a one week to one month time the nitty-gritty of working the field they say they want.  

Allowing all to make a personal choice to succeed at what they are comfortable working.  We all have different career/work goals.  A career to find internal success.  After many years of pain, I have accepted that even though it is not acceptable to the world, I am happiest as a retail person.  I have emotionally fought against striving for the world image of achieving an office job.  Truly happiest helping others and being on my feet and moving around in a supermarket, mall, or restaurant setting.  Twenty plus years of putting myself down that I was not a success by not scribing a ‘career.’ When I had one, it just did not look like one accepted by a large percentage of society. 

Earlier I did mention finances.  I do not feel that increasing the minimum wage is the way to go but looking at corporate waste and determining why our prices of goods are so high.  Another aspect is teaching realistic budgeting in the classroom and teaching want versus need and how to achieve that within a budget, not instant purchasing.  Where does this leave me with planning to imitate an ostrich?

With that mentioned, I want to be aware of the world’s topics around me for my mental health and work on watching some real news.  Local, national, and international in small doses and ones that strive to be neutral in presentation (Yes, you may laugh at me.).  Currently, finding a smattering of channels will allow me to hear or read the basics of what is going on.  It is difficult to find media outlets that concentrate on equal reporting, not bipartisan reporting, that is a large portion of reporting.  Another is just trying to find peace with much of what is causing chaos and immature reactions.  Just again, trying to find a balance of what is informative but not too harmful and emotionally destructive to my anxiety and depression.

May this find everyone well.  I just wanted to show that you may not be alone being overwhelmed with our current world topics.  Stay safe in this time of change. I strive to live with the understanding that life is not returning as we are familiar.   Accepting and determining how to live in this new era will see us succeed in accepting our unique experience.

I came across this TED Talks by Chris Coward Interesting piece about misinformation and our responsibility to listen or forward information.  Found this helpful.

TEDx Talks – Unmasking Misinformation | Chris Coward | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries

Channels I have been watching and some of their most recent uploads

CBS This Morning – Media mogul Tyler Perry on “Camp Quarantine” production and helping others – I enjoy watching these for showing that okay we have a problem, let us find a workaround.

BBC News – All children back in school by September in England pledges government – Watch BBC, I understand due to language also it is interesting to see how another country sees how they are handling the situation taking place. They are also just as confused as the US, but they presented differently and decreased negativity and finger-pointing.

News 5 Cleveland – Summit County Public Health strongly recommends K-12 schools reopen with remote learning – Usually, News 5 Cleveland due most times shows the information with a limit on the negative finger-pointing and often presents the facts with specialists giving the information.

The Ohio Channel – Ohio Governor Mike DeWine – COVID-19 Update / August 13, 2020  – when possible, I try to watch this to get the basics of information from the Governor to know what is sent out to our local policyholders and decision-makers.

Side note, as you can tell by some of the dates, I have been struggling with whether to put this one up. Essential that it is okay to find a comfort zone living in this changing new world. I feel we will not be fully returning to what was.  

Thank you

FeaturedThank you

Thank you, Retail, Services, and Trade Employees. Since the beginning of this pandemic, it has bothered me the media, social media, and signs concentration and praise healthcare workers and as an afterthought, the police, fire, and EMS. Yes, they deserve praise, but it reinforces the employment/career perception of society. What I do see is the lack of thank you to all of the service industries. Thank you to the people who work at the stores, services like hair, dining, and the people who provide us with the products to sell and deliver services. May miss a couple of titles but truckers, factory workers, housekeepers, tattoo artists, bus drivers, crafters, makers, and all that provide for services that are an integral part of living in today’s culture.

With all the current talks of the needs of the people and everyone needs support. Some financial assistance may be helpful in realistic hourly pay to the job description, taxes, and actual medical. Most, if not all, individuals desire to feel value for the work they do. There are those in the world who find value and skill in serving or creating for others. Over the years, I have noticed that there is a lack of respect or support to those impacted through life situations, skills, and/or desire that choose employment in low paying and low respect service or high pay but low respect trade industries.   

What I am asking for others to consider is your perception of a person who chooses or needs to work a retail, service, or trade job. One type of trade is to drive trucks, do you respect the individual for that choice? Do you look and think oh that is all their good for, with that underthought of no respect for the individual? What about the plumber who you call when there is an emergency. What are your thoughts when you find out your child wants to be a plumber? Pride or concern that they are choosing a menial job.

What are your thoughts or attitudes of the clerk at the meat counter, waitress, factory worker, coffee counter, crafter, tattoo, hairdresser, or supermarket? Do you consider that they have a ‘real’ job, or that was all they could because they do not have the IQ or degree for something better? We see this in ads for colleges.    

American Career College Ads

Supporting and showing pride for those who chose to work in the service industry and allow for full-time hours would go a long way in economic equality. Many workers would not push for the fifteen dollar hours if they were able to find full-time hours with benefits.  

Humans want respect, but when you treated like a lesser person, you are a clerk in a supermarket, waitress, cook, and stock. Factory worker, housekeeper, kitchen prep, electrician, and many more. This lack of respect seen in we have high unemployment, but many people will not apply for retail jobs because the pay is low and considered beneath them for some. Bear in mind that it is a generalization, not a specific person, and on social media comments and a couple of comments I have heard from others. Well, let us consider the fact that supermarkets stayed open with only a small amount of thank you, followed by abuse for mask or supply purchase mandates.

Again thank you to those in all aspects of the service/trade industry. Our country indeed, could not run without us. The media may not acknowledge the daily strife and anxiety of our health and safety. Again thank you for working your twenty to fifty hours of work with no benefits, respect, and buying your masks and other supplies.

Thank you for the truck driver who has to deal with the driver who does not realize that you need a good eighth of a mile to brake but cuts right in front. Additionally, the time away from family and friends. Thank you to the housekeeper that is cleaning up after all variety of people with minimal protective gear. Thank you to the factory worker that has to go in and leave smelling like melting plastic, dead fish, cow, or chicken. Also, for those working in a hot, cold, or freezing processing area. Thank you for the different kinds of beauticians and artisans. Thank you to the construction industry. Thank you for the car mechanic. Thank you to the restaurant staff. Much appreciate all you do. If I have missed your industry, I am sorry, but I am not seeing or all-knowing of all the trade and service jobs.  

Thank you, comes from the heart of a worker of the same industry for twenty years waitress, cook, clerk, coffee, cashier, manager, and cleaner. I tried to leave the industry and go into healthcare. When I spoke with coworkers, they would treat me as an equal until they asked where I had worked last. Responded as a manager in a supermarket that respect was lost. One person mentioned that it was good. I got out of such a dead-end job. Here is the rub, though, and that my anxiety and depression keep going over. I was happy working retail and taking care of others rather than working in a nursing home as a Social Worker; their idea of Customer Service does not even come close to what expected from retail. Trying to shift to that was to difficult on my anxiety and depression with no industry training except what I got through college. So I returned to what made me happy helping others with less daily notes that impacted client (customer) care and minimum face to face care.

It has taken me years to accept that I am happiest working retail and taking care of others and providing care for one of the most basic human needs food. Keep up the great work all those that are the reason our country has not stopped running, our families fed, and we have a car to drive. I am going to wrap up with two pieces.

One is from CBS Sunday Morning news about the current information hitting the restaurant industry. The second piece I found from Mike Rowe reinforcing that we need to show our children that working in the service and trade industry is an honorable profession, not something to be looked down on. Side thought some of the racism this country keeps pushing about also stems from the portion of the black and low income community that the employment can get treated with disrespect as work and financial options are low. For US retail a cashier/stocker is paid $7.00 – 9.00 an hour as a lead it is $9.00 – 11.00 an hour, and management is $11.00 – 14.00 an hour, and store managers salaried, so they average $15.00 an hour because it expected to work forty-five to sixty hours a week. Many companies want to have open availability and are not flexible with scheduling. There is minimal work to home life balance.

Next time you are out and about, try to thank a worker from the service industry. Sincerely, all we ask is that you treat us with respect. We have to follow the rules, and being told how to do our job as we are taking care of you is annoying and disrespectful. Corporate no matter the industry already treats us poorly with low pay, not enough supplies, repairs not done, and no training or training that treats us like children. I heard somewhere that one company thinks that employees do fifty percent of theft. So we are already feeling devalued by corporate. Being treated by the people, we care for as children who fail in life makes that lack of proper value harder.  

Yes, there are poor workers, but if you think about it, every industry has that one or two employees that you celebrate when they leave or let go. No one is perfect, and there are jobs or work that see people striving or struggling to find their place. 

For those that feel this was prideful or selfish to post because I am in retail. This piece was tentatively written since June just struggled with posting it, not wanting to offend. I had a shift that made me want to open my mouth and give a customer a piece of my mind. Retail is a fantastic job that is physically tough and stressful in its way. On an hourly basis, your client or customer base is as diverse as the world. With this diversity comes a plethora of opinions and personalities. There is nothing wrong with working to care for others. Not all of us can pursue a degree either through desire or lack of opportunity. Try to treat those who take care of your fundamental needs with respect for all they do.  

Danny Meyer on reviving the restaurant industry – CBS Sunday Morning

Mike Rowe Testimony – CongessmanGT – Found this one sad and humorous that he called our US Politicians about asking him to come back but nothing changes.

Mike Rowe Works Foundation

Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe on Facebook

The Real Mike Rowe – Facebook

Thank you, for reading.  Reminder you are welcome to comment, but at this time my anxiety and depression make it extremely difficult to read the comments.  

Why Didn’t I Think of That?

FeaturedWhy Didn’t I Think of That?

Several days ago, Channel 5 in my home area ran a fun article. Got such a chuckle, which then moved to why didn’t I think of that? Surprise, there is not a franchise chain of these, takes recycling to a whole new level. Recycling could use or sell the products they cannot recycle to these places.

Enjoyed a new idea? Maybe some of these all over the world is one now in the Mogadore, OH area. 

You bought it; you break it at Rage Room Ohio – News 5 Cleveland

Of course, this got my mental health side thinking. What if this would be a partial therapy option for those who have difficulty controlling their rage or had an outlet to vent before it got too much for them to control in most situations? Just a thought to think about to all those highly educated professionals to research? Could this be something that would allow an individual that is prone to rage work through it easier? Have them use a room like this than after or during a session. Have a professional talk with the individual about what they imagine during smashing/venting. Help them work through what the triggers are and optional thoughts to consider, so not get to that rage point faster.

Have a great day, everyone. I hope everyone is well during this time of change for everyone.  

Now I am off to collect all my breakable I don’t want in the garage to use later for my rage. LOL. Since the police in my neighborhood would probably be called. I guess I will stay police visit free and just set up an appointment in Mogadore.

Pondering Defunding the Police again…

FeaturedPondering Defunding the Police again…

Media got me thinking about the topic of defunding the police that had been the battle cry back at the beginning of June. The media has not been covering it a lot. Unsure if the groups that began the call are still pushing for it. Another there might be a topic the Cleveland, OH area is not currently covering. (I realize the COVID numbers have increased.)

Two write-ups that gave for me a satisfying balance to the sunject. The Washington Post is an opinion piece from Editorial Board on July 16 and the Washington Examiner by Kaylee McGhee, Commentary Writer on July 10.  

‘Defund the police’ is as much about re-imagining public safety as it is about money

This opinion piece seems to present the re-imagined departments and that each state would look different. I guess my concern with all this is we have City Councils throughout our country and probably the world that cannot agree on road repair and government building staffing. How are they going to re-imagine a world that has always had police and a need for them? How are they going to re-imagine also a department that is already short-staffed and not solving the crime?  

It is mention that school disputes get a well-trained counselor instead of a police officer. I do not know about anyone else, but our school has slowly removed counselors due to money. Personally, in the case of our family, my daughter was bullied, and having counselors and teachers monitoring made it worse. Remember, in a parent-teacher/counselor conference, was told my daughter’s bullying would not happen as much if she was not as emotional. This thinking from the professionals they want to replace our police? 

What if we gave police officers better hours, more counseling support, and more vacation days. Maybe sabbaticals like teachers get so they can de-stress.  The counseling industry would require a change in training if you want them to replace the police. Are we going to teach them disarming techniques when they cannot talk down a drug addict who has mental health? Are we going to address why this addict may have chosen drugs, indeed? Their situation could be they began treating mental health with alcohol and then street drugs instead of pharmaceuticals due to not knowing? Now they cannot afford the medicines or doctor’s appointments or family history of not accepting mental health? These are my thoughts on this one, let’s see what the other one has for ideas.

People don’t want to defund the police. Can you blame them? by Kaylee McGhee, Commentary Writer | | July 10, 2020, 03:21 PM

What I found fascinating is the articles in a broad stroke mirror each other. Did find an example of a citizen who found a homeless person on his front step call a community service person who is supposed to handle the homeless and got no answer but called the police, and it was processed quickly. That is one example of the over hall that a segment of our society is calling for needs to look at what is already in place and why it is not working. What if we looked at training police officers that due to injury can no longer be on the force, Train them as counselors make use of the training maybe change their uniform, so those going on soft calls do not look as threatening. Another aspect is how police are perceived. Do people even know who to call for what problems? Personally, our car and house egged many years ago my husband called the police. Where we supposed to call someone different, I do not know?

This writer also spoke about the consequences of Minneapolis neighborhood residents had agreed to not rely on law enforcement, and crime has increased, which on a human perspective that makes sense. On a simple example, you see that mom and dad leave the children at home, and they have friends over that destroy the house.  

What got me on this track again is a news clip from our local news station that got me thinking that I do not know if it is like this everywhere. The detective staffing levels are lower than they are supposed to be by federal standards. Even before all this current hoopla. If our police are understaffed, why?. What is life going to look like if the loudmouths get their way on instant defunding? We need to look at retraining, and supporting have clear cut policies in place for the police and the support units. No matter how that looks in the future, but it will not be instant.

Cleveland leaders to hold hearings on homicide detective staffing level concerns.

For me, I’m rather proud of myself that after a little bit of research and reading, my anxiety is minimal. Again I cannot change this except at the voting booth. Also, be aware of where and who to call when there is a problem. Which at the current plan is the town hall main number or web page. Suppose worse comes to worst the general police number, not the 911 and ask them. At least for the noncritical things. Critical being physical attacks, robbery, and etc.  Media, life, and people can present an oversaturation of information or opinions. Trying to find a balance between worry and anxiety is the trick of survival. Oh, maybe that is the meaning of life finding peace between concern and panic.

Have a great day. I am considering creating what I find in the media as a daily post since it is becoming rather crowded at the end of my weekly review. I will see how this works for me. When I watch the news, I find myself wanting to comment but find I want to research multiple facets of information.


Review of Week 6/22-26/2020

I had a pretty good week with my anxiety and depression in regards to my family and home. Not sure whether that would be the case as the week started. For a variety of reasons, the strongest one continues is anxiety over the media’s presentation of the topic of racism and my accountability and reaction. Another difference to the week was having to put our family dog, who was eleven years old, down; she had a stroke. Both of these subjects seem to overwhelm my free time. Even with the distractions outside the norm, I was able to make some progress on my downsizing project. So proud of myself that I could keep moving forward. I do not have much to contribute outside my last Eureka thought at 3 am on Saturday. Please bear with me the return to the topic of racism. Keeps me up, as we’ve seen from past logs the problem of racism in my accountability to that topic from the midwest US. The issue keeps pushing at my anxiety to figure out where my place is in this world, where I can feel that I am not impacting people negatively by my actions.  

Had a eureka moment, I have struggled with the words that I keep hearing and not understanding white privilege when it comes to the news commentators because I don’t see it to the extent they claim it is around me. Please, I am not saying it is not there, but the media keeps pushing us to sign up for hate groups, from my perspective, that is farthest from the truth or need for the problem.  From a personal perspective, my position as a mom and older person has consequences as well.  Not as severe as the black community, but as a mom and someone having worked 20 plus years in retail, my options for employment are limited.  

I chose to work second shift retail, so I could stay home during the day with my daughter allowing her dad to take care of her at night. This choice destroyed any chance I had getting any form of office career. Career is the scheme of white privilege according to the media for me to lord over everyone. Office work and a college degree from the beginning is essential to getting into executive positions. Even in retail, there are limited opportunities if you choose to place family before career. Now, this becomes fruitless because I don’t have any networking connection; I don’t have a 3.0 GPA. When I bring up in conversation that I’ve been in retail for 20 years, I’m looked down upon as if I was to stupid to work in an office.

I can’t wrap my head around those words that I have white privilege, and all blacks feel attacked just by being in this country. We live in a country where sports stars and musicians get paid millions and a high percentage is African Americans. Do not get me started that they are complaining that they are in danger of getting sick as they plan the game schedules. That has not stopped them from going to retail stores with working people that do not have their money to pay for PPE supplies. Also, I don’t even know what to call people anymore because the media is representing everybody getting offended. I’m tired of being told I’m a horrible person because I’m white. I childishly want this all to stop. I want to watch the news again without feeling like I am a worthless person. I do anyway because of my anxiety, and the media keeps putting me back to square one.  

Slightly different but still about minority groups that were and looked down on. I did find some sadness and humor in my reading of the current news article about the Remington Gun company declaring bankruptcy but that the Navajo Tribe may buy them. Situation tickled my funny bone a small amount, not that people will lose their jobs but that an Indian tribe is purchasing a company that provided weapons to enslave them hundreds of years ago. Nevermind that some of the Indian tribes own casinos. The sadness and humor/justice for me is that whites introduced alcohol to the Native Americans which prompted alcoholism. They are now returning the favor through the addiction to gambling. Just gave me hope that through all of this current chaos, the world will still keep moving forward and that things will improve.

So let me wrap this up. Was it a successful week? Yes, it was. I have accepted AGAIN, that pleasing the media and politicians cannot be done.  Also, I do not see people as the media and violent protestors do. All I can do is be who I am, a person that tries to please everyone I come in contact with, as I always have. At least one or two people that I come in contact with will be offended by what I say or do. I am not, nor have I ever been perfect. Will I keep trying to understand the other argument? Strive to understand the larger picture of life and that unfortunately means watching the news. I did run across a gentleman who posted a well-done video from his perception of living black in America, and he speaks with Mathew Mcaheny and the Gaines family. I have included his first video explaining why he has created these videos. I did enjoy listening to the dialogue between him and his other guests. In the first video, personally find his tone condescending (that could just be me). He does present an amazing personal perspective of the current topic media of racism, even though it seems to be moving back to the pandemic.  

Emmanuel Acho – Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

Again, sorry for the revisit of this tiring subject, the media just keeps sending me into fits of what a horrible person I am and spent time trying to work through that for the umpteenth time. Prayerfully, I will return to my anxiety research and personal thoughts of the presentation. Keep healthy and move forward. We got this as individuals even when some days look bad the next day or hour has a chance of being better.


 Nasdaq, Remington Arms prepares for bankruptcy; Navajo tribe in talks to buy – source CONTRIBUTOR, Jessica DiNapoli  Reuters, PUBLISHED JUN 26, 2020 3:10PM EDT, https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/remington-arms-prepares-for-bankruptcy-navajo-tribe-in-talks-to-buy-source-2020-06-26

Emmanuel Accho, YouTube, Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, https://youtu.be/h8jUA7JBkF4


Contemplation of Current Volatile Topic Again

Some random thoughts came to mind as I did my brief overview of national and local news. Why must we be so confrontational in our society? I do not have a real answer to this one. Except maybe we should listen to each other. I see confrontation as individual groups speak what they think but do not hear what the other group is saying. Finding a balance between fact and opinion seems to be an excellent place to start and reach a compromise, which seems to be a losing art form. Current and historical answers that I am basing these thoughts from is below for anyone interested in reading.

Very uncomfortable by a small section of our society that is about destroying the monuments of our past. What if we instead relocate them and describe why they are no longer viable as a monument or leave them with a description or a comparison statute showing the change of heart in society. Present as a celebration of United States maturity as a mixed culture. There is talk of destroying Mount Rushmore. Why? When did we lose sight of what our country stands on? The United States used to pride itself as a melting pot of nationalities, culture, ideas, and history. Not all of it is pretty, but as a people, we can learn, grow, and change to a better society.

Making changes becomes a danger; not all aspects of needs addressed when handled quickly. How many people have been hurt by the removal of police from different cities? This subject still weighs on my heart and mind with the chaos around us and the knee jerk reaction to things that they genuinely do not understand. This lack of understanding comes from not living the situation and only have statistics or reports written by biased individuals pushing a goal.  

I still have only my reaction to voting and how to treat others. Just my anxiety and depression keep struggling to watch our politicians make change without fundamental research and discussion with the people genuinely involved. Who is involved with underinsured people, all citizens of all culture and nationality, and the first line police. When did we become a nation that relied on statistics and mob mentality, not the larger group’s needs? Not an aspect I can wrap my anxiety around because I am just one person and cannot change everything but myself. 

Corporate, Plantations, Business Owners, both current and past, have needed the lower masses’ labor. The Industrial Nation was moved forward on the backs of low income, immigrants, and their children. Chinese built our western railroad. People of color made our world through cotton, westward movement, tobacco, and many more. Our government killed and locked up our Native Americans. There will always be a segment of our society that is negatively impacted by policy, social change, or big business. Where can we go from here as individuals? That is all we have because, as a society at large, there has been a segment of culture that initially does not fit but has as the years pass that can change if we move forward well.

What about our Chinese society that rules were out in place to limit the businesses they could own? What about the need for mental health care or finances that can cause people to not succeed in potential, become homeless, or be in prison? What happened to the topic of how low women are paid or chose family over career until later in life and career options decrease? How about the high cost of healthcare and insurance companies not covering needed care?  

There costs to all rules, politics, and corporate needs. Yes, all of us being equal would be fantastic, but it is not feasible without losing a lot of freedom. I want to live in a country where with hard work, sacrifice, and chance, I can better myself. That is not possible in countries that oversee all aspects of their citizens’ lives. If we keep pushing for social change to happen without accurate planning, if we are not careful, the changes will endanger the freedom and sacrifices that our forefathers have made, and a dream for other world citizens to strive to join. By destroying our monuments and passing rules and changes regulating our decisions. All I ask as the months move closer to November, we research all aspects of our local, state, and federal politicians, not just news and social media’s most significant voice.

Unsure why this topic keeps scaring me. I am scared of some of the current decisions made that seem short-sighted and are genuinely not for the whole. YES, there is a crisis in our nation about segregation, but all minorities have some abuse history. The black community seems to have a higher amount at this time and the past. Why do I fear to monitor every word out of my mouth? The media is presenting our society as all racist, uncaring individuals. We have things being changed, such as Aunt Jemima logo, Uncle Ben, and Cream of Wheat. Why must these be replaced when they show an individual as a respectful creator of the product or trusted individual suggestion to consume. We are moving toward the point that we cannot use the word white or black. If that is the case, do we need Crayola to remove these two colors from the crayon and marker box? How far is this going to go? The Dixie Chicks have changed their name to Chicks, so isn’t chicks derogatory toward women? Just some questions I have that I do not have answers to. All I have is more anxiety as to how I will write or talk who will it offend. Then I realize at this point even if I sneeze, someone will be hurt. All I can do is be transparent that I do not mean to insult; it is just where my current knowledge places my opinion.

Prayerfully, this finds everyone well. Thank you to those who read and follow. We will survive, but let’s strive to live well and be proud of who we are to others and fit in this ever-growing topic of change—living as an individual, not as a whole unit. We are individual puzzle pieces to the greater whole of the world. I am striving to remember that each puzzle piece shaped differently to make the whole picture. It is okay if I fit into the whole, but I will not be the same as everyone.

A quick side note was going to post the links to the Black Lives Matter website, but there is so much out on the web that came up on the search that I got confused, and I felt alienated and more scared than I was before just by reading them. Now just going to stick to what I have and keep trying to find a knowledge level that keeps my depression and anxiety on an even keel on this subject.

Current News Links that started this rambling idea.

Minneapolis City Council Unanimously Approves Proposal to Disband Police BY AMY FORLITI AND STEVE KARNOWSKI / AP UPDATED: JUNE 26, 2020 5:59 AM EDT | ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: JUNE 26, 2020 5:59 AM EDT

Unilever to drop terms like ‘whitening’ from beauty products By The Associated Press June 25, 2020, 10:56 AM 2 min read.

‘Horrifically racist’ backlash prompts Oregon county to drop non-white mask policy by BROOKE WOLFORD JUNE 24, 2020 05:07 PM, UPDATED JUNE 25, 2020 03:26 PM.

South Dakota Gov. Noem vows to protect Mt. Rushmore: We won’t stand for ‘radical rewriting of history’ By Talia Kaplan | Fox News

The Term “Master Bedroom” is Now Racist – Anthony Brian Logan Commentary collection of different new articles that he shows. 

Historical information is part of our culture.

Building the Transcontinental Railroad: How 20,000 Chinese Immigrants Made It Happen At first, railroad companies were reluctant to hire Chinese workers, but the immigrants soon proved vital. LESLEY KENNEDYUPDATED:APR 30, 2020 ORIGINAL:MAY 10, 2019 

Child Labor – UPDATED:APR 17, 2020ORIGINAL:OCT 27, 2009 Child Labor HISTORY.COM EDITORS

Industrial Revolution HISTORY.COM EDITORS

 How Slavery Became the Economic Engine of South Slavery was so profitable sprouted more millionaires per capita in the Mississippi River valley than anywhere in the nation. GREG TIMMONS UPDATED:DEC 18, 2019ORIGINAL:MAR 6, 2018


Ran across this song and explanation of God Bless the U.S.A. by Lee Greenwood. It gave me hope that we will all recover from these polarizing and dividing situations of 2020. 

Lee Greenwood – The Story of “God Bless the U.S.A.” – Country Road T.V.

I have also included a scriptural perspective on the race discussion from Tony Evans, who I have found to be reliable but easy to understand the biblical teaching. Yes, I know not every church person does not follow, but remember, even in the church, there is left, right, and in between individuals, we all have different ways of hearing. Many forget or find a hard time to live what they hear. As an individual, we are responsible for striving to live respectful of God’s teaching, but we are also human and miss massively all we can do is keep trying. At least that is my perspective because I even have met people that I am embarrassed to say I am a Christian.

Questions From our Listeners, Part One on June 26, 2020 – Tony Evans


Week Review 6/8-12/2020

This week went well for the most part.  I had a couple of anxiety spikes but was able to determine the thoughts had no foundation.  I want to call ‘thoughts had no foundation’ as irrational, but depending on my day, the word irrational makes me feel worse. Let’s journey forward to review this week’s potholes.

What made this week a success is I was able to keep specific anxiety thoughts down to less than a day.  One, I had to rely on the individual involved how they felt.  I was rather proud of myself that I could ask the next day instead of several days later.  That several days delays normally impacted those around me negatively and my energy and activities. Where does that leave me?

I think in a decent spot.  On the home front, the physical tasks it takes to run a home got done.  In my anxiousness, I only once got upset and responded negatively to my family.  Where this stems from is that taking care of the house is done by me.  My husband provides financially, and my daughter is a teen journeying to young adulthood. Motivating her has become a personal failure that is going to take me more time to accept.  For the parents out there, yes, I know it is her responsibility now.  The struggle is over reviewing her upbringing and what I could have done differently. Long way of saying I am the chief cook, bottle washer, clothes, and finances.  So when my anxiety and depression turn into more exhaustion and physical pain than my other physical limitations already give. I get frustrated with the lack of help.  So for me, I found success that I only lashed out once while I was overwhelmed.  Lashing out for me is not keeping my internal dialogue to myself and speaking out loud.

This week’s only non-resolution, and I still wobble back and forth on, is the current subject of racism and social interaction.  What I keep anxiously dwelling on even though I thought I had resolved where my place was on this?  My anxiety took me to extremes; here is my example.  I went to McDonald’s and ordered what I always did, a ‘Black Iced Coffee’.  When asked about flavoring, I said no cream, no sugar, no flavor.  Upon picking up, I got a coffee with milk in it.  Yes, this may have been a simple mistake, but my anxiety took me to extreme thinking.  I took it because I did not want to back up the drive-thru, and I had water, so I was at least not out of fluid.  Got me overthinking did they put milk in it because they responded to me using the word black.  Am I no longer allowed to order coffee black?  I have always ordered it this way.  Some will comment, say plain.  I guess I can, but is not this subject going too far that we have to worry over every little word we use.  Multiple people have lost their jobs for knee jerk comments.  Heck Netflix took Gone With the Wind off due to the subject matter are they going to do the same for the movie Roots or any other Civil War based movie or movies Like Guess who’s Coming to Dinner with Sidney Potier.  My anxiety is not dealing well with this whole situation.  

Side note while editing this Gone with the Wind is being re-uploaded with historical context prior.  Which I must say is excellent, hopeful that the historical context will be an impartial review of truth.  In regards to McDonald’s in my pain, I did contact the store, which, thinking back on it, struggled if I should have done this.  Why because my anxiety is going to place me in a position of not going back there because I may have offended someone, and they will be angry with me.   Of course, coming from that industry of customer service in retail, it is ‘irrational’ to think they will remember me when I return in two to three weeks from now since I am not a regular.

I feel selfish, saying that I am terrified about talking and interacting with people right now.  Smiling at people or waving.  We have a segment of our society saying by being silent; you are advocating racism.  How can we support when we are unsure where and what we think over a subject being reported differently and reference materials are different depending on who is presenting it?  We worry about how to speak what we are thinking and are severely unsure of how another individual reacts, or do we lose a friendship?  As the racism wrecking ball moves into legislation, how will this impact other groups that do not fit the norm when politicians are writing all-inclusive language that will make things worse.

Thoughts of a weekly review are daily anxiety I did amazingly well on, so let’s mark that a success.  On the subjects pushed by mainstream media and social media of racism, police defunding, and now the situation in Seattle, Washington occupying a whole block.  Below are a couple links to the Seattle subject; it is two of multiple postings out there all different than the next.  I feel like a failure. I cannot seem to drop the anxious thoughts impacting my daily activities.  Strive to smile and nod at everyone, no matter who they are.  Still cause worry that they are offended.    

As I work through my anxiety research project and how to interact with myself and others.  Hopefully, I have put together something that will help me find a happy medium between being aware of current news subjects but not allowing my mind to consume me by worse case thoughts.

I was going to leave my review here.  This week’s pothole on this journey called life will be a success in personal life.  Interaction on a societal level marks a failure when balanced against the media, but a success when looked at I have not allowed it to send me to an anxiety attack that put a full stop to my day and week, just a couple hours here and there.  Keep journeying forward, life looks different no matter who you are.

New York Post – What’s really going on inside the ‘Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone’  

CNN – What it’s like inside Seattle’s CHAZ

There are many other postings that can be found on Fox News, The Guardian, and more.  All saying different things. 

Thank you to those who read. Sorry for the delay in posting this. Have a great new week.


Working Through Newest Media Topic

Well, I see I have lied to myself. I was planning to stay away from the Black Lives Matter subject in my posts. As an individual and upbringing, I do not feel I have a right to concentrate on the subject, partly due to limited impact. For health reasons, I need to focus on the professional and self-healing of my mental health. I felt comfortable last week when I was in my decision to vote for change and treat those I come in contact with equally as I always had tried.  

Current media topic of defunding the police here in the US; a quick reaction terrifies me that my family’s safety and community; I hear no substantial how-to policy changes, just rhetoric. Yes, reform needs making, but the way the media presents this defunding makes me feel unsafe. Felt safe during the peaceful protests or the riots—this seeming broad sweeping defunding terrifies. Also, the Democrats wearing the ethnic colored scarfs seem more like a photo op and voting opportunity than a real understanding of what asked.  

What I strive to do is research as best to my ability both sides of what presented. Which going through it continued to terrify me. So here are the parts I located, and where I place my personal opinion and conclusion.

Defunding the police could mean replacing officers with social workers, says expert – Canada CBC News

Canadian media review of what defunding means. Which seems safe from the beginning. The discretionary view is part of the concern. The structural change sounds good, but I do not see much in the regular news of how this will work. My question of social workers is about racism with-in social workers. Additionally, the social workers we currently have now what is the procedures they follow. The problem: Why do we need to be told to care for our citizens’ social needs. If we have not done it in the past, what does that look like now? Some of the ideas mentioned, if done well, seem possible to work. But is that not what social services was supposed to be from the beginning. Why do we need riots to push at the process already in place?

‘The Five’ struggles with the left’s growing call to ‘defund police’ – FOX News

Diverse view of what has to lead up to the current racism protests. Liked the question of who is a more or less racist argument among politicians. Which begs the questions, what are we arguing over when human lives are at risk? The topic seems to be moving into a political stamp, and not a people need because we are moving to an election. Fascinated about the toss of statistics around that are different depending on the origin of statistics.

Full BLM Co-Founder ‘Defund the Police’… – NBC News

I hear her point, but if we are increasing social reforms and workers. A system that is already overwhelmed; we cannot even protect our abused children or assist in the care needs of others. What will this increase in social care be toward, and how? My concern is what happens to all people that this system helped. Just a quick on timestamp 3.28-3.35, she mentions that Black Lives Matter started six years ago. Initially, I thought that was unfactual then realized she meant her specific group when that phrase had used for centuries, even back during Martin Luther’s and James Baldwin’s time.

Why defunding police could lead to alternatives that help communities – Canada Your Morning

I do agree with him that this is just an election moment. There will be no change. Bring up the thought is that if we genuinely look at the number review. I did notice he mentioned mental health. Those who do have funds have a hard time now to get services, so how are we going to finance an increase in mental health care. Do these big corporations understand what they fund? I do agree with him on the corporate level of integration, and it is not just the black lives that impacted even though black lives impacted harsher than others.

In going through a small amount of what was available, I could not find much on what the case managers feel about this shift. I do know from many of the articles I receive from social worker associations that before this, there is a high burn out rate. What is to prevent even more trauma as their duties increase?

I love being a police officer, but we need reform – Melvin Russell on TED Talk (2016)

I found this an excellent perspective from four years ago that the instant change some protestors, media, and politicians are immediately demanding as we already know needs changes. This change requires changes in the local area with desire, thought, and planning. Love the image of a clergy member in each of a police car (time stamp 9.13) not to happen just his vision; it could be anyone that the community respects. Sadly, when looking up Baltimore, I ran across this article showing systemic racism, https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-systemic-racism-in-baltimores-police-force/2016/08/10/86ce448a-5f3f-11e6-9d2f-b1a3564181a1_story.html. Which at least to me presents it is the individual leader who makes a change, not broad sweeping legislation changes. Found a follow up 2018 follow up of what Melvin Russell says to Dandymite Media. ‘I Hate the Police’ What Happened?

Currently, for me, the town I live in is not explicitly talking about defunding our police. In a way, though our voting on police levies our community defunds the police often, it is not something that routinely passes when we vote. Why do we not take these changes demanded of police defunding with actual workable facts and policies and put it to the citizen to vote? Politicians do not seem to have a personal history of making these decisions well. Let the people genuinely impacted by the removal of our police force, and an increase and social services make the decisions.

Anxiety and depression wise I am still terrified and distracted by what-ifs. Emotionally going to place this subject where I did Black Lives Matter protests. Watch what my local politicians are doing. What voting or town hall meetings are available on this subject. Attend and vote where needed. I can only oversee what happens in my town—an state and federal when it is my time to vote. Watching once a day, a variety of news outlets from around the country will keep me updated and aware. I was striving to not concentrate on these topics because I see the media following the political party’s opinions and makes them look good for more votes for their party, not what will genuinely help those involved and impacted. The recent wearing of the kente fabric (https://www.aaihs.org/the-history-and-significance-of-kente-cloth-in-the-black-diaspora/) by federal employees, personally reinforces that. Just painful to see the pain of those that need help to be ignored again but given lip service that things will change this time around.  

Do have a positive I was able to make some personal progress on my Anxiety research.